Operation Fake Relationship - Jay Northcote Page 0,49

them seemed ready to try to clear the air.

There was an ache in Jackson’s chest and an unsettled antsy feeling in his stomach. He wished he could get to the gym and chase it away by pushing his body until his muscles hurt more than his heart. As it was, he was stuck immobile in a car for three hours with Nick—the source of his current discomfort. It was making him feel a little crazy. When he got home, he could at least go out for a run. Maybe that would burn off this unbearable sense of longing and frustration.

I’m such a fucking idiot.

Cursing himself once again for getting into this mess, Jackson got out his phone and earbuds. “I’m going to listen to a podcast for a bit.”

“Okay.”

He selected one of the health podcasts he subscribed to and settled back to listen. It was a welcome distraction and his anxiety slowly settled as he listened to the interview and watched the world flash by the car window. After half an hour or so, his eyelids started to feel heavy, so he closed them and allowed his mind to drift until he dozed off. He slept fitfully, pulled back into consciousness by every small sound as Nick moved, and every click-click-click of the indicator as Nick changed lanes.

At some point, Nick’s voice brought him back as he asked softly, “Jackson. You asleep?”

Jackson had been asleep until the moment he’d been asked the question, and he wasn’t in the mood for conversation anyway, so it seemed easier not to respond. His closed eyes and immobility would answer for him.

Twelve

When they got home, Jackson went straight to his room to unpack. He could hear the TV in the living area, so he knew Nick must have been out there. Jackson couldn’t avoid him forever, but his restless anxiety of earlier had returned full force, so he got into his running kit. Maybe some exercise would help him chill out and deal with everything better.

“Oh, hey,” Nick said as Jackson emerged from his room. “I was about to ask if you wanted a tea or coffee, but I guess not.”

“Nah. But thanks.”

“You heading to the gym?”

“Nope. Just going for a run.”

“Okay. Have a good one.”

“Cheers.”

It was dark outside, but the route Jackson chose was well-lit. He stuck to the side streets so there weren’t too many pedestrians to dodge, and when he reached the park he ran laps until his body was exhausted and his mind had calmed.

“You were ages.” Nick glanced up from the TV when Jackson got home.

“I was in the mood for a long run after having a break over Christmas.”

“Fair enough.” Nick’s gaze flitted over Jackson in a way that reminded Jackson of being naked with him. “I was thinking of getting a takeaway tonight. We haven’t got any decent food till we go shopping. What d’you reckon?”

“Yeah. Sounds good to me.”

“What do you fancy? I was leaning towards Chinese or Thai.”

“Thai would be my first choice.”

“That’s fine. I can order while you shower. I’m starving. Do you want your usual?”

“Yes please.” Jackson wasn’t feeling particularly hungry, maybe the run had dulled his appetite. But he didn’t want to keep Nick waiting.

They ate in front of the TV, which Jackson was grateful for. Sitting at the table to eat would have meant the need for conversation. He didn’t know how to talk to Nick anymore. His stomach was knotted with nerves and his palms were sweaty like a teenager’s on a first date, and it was ridiculous because he was a grown man hanging out with his best mate. It shouldn’t have been this difficult.

Jackson was a creature of habit, and he always had prawn red curry with a side of coconut rice. Thai food was his absolute favourite, and he normally ate every scrap, but tonight he picked out all the prawns—he wasn’t going to waste those—but left quite a lot of rice and sauce on his plate.

“Is that all you’re eating?” Nick asked in surprise as Jackson put his plate on the coffee table.

“Yeah.”

“Blimey. That’s not like you. Are you sick or something?”

“Nah. I’m fine. Just full.” Jackson patted his unhappy stomach. He’d never realised that lovesick was actually a thing, but his lack of appetite seemed to prove it was.

Nick hadn’t finished all his food either, but that wasn’t unusual for him. He didn’t tend to eat quite as much as Jackson, so he often kept some leftovers for the next day when they got takeaway.

Jackson