that baby will belong to both of you and he needs to be there for him or her. And for you because pregnancy can be difficult." She paused. "Have you told him yet?"
I shook my head. "I just took the first test about an hour before I got here."
Her eyes welled up. "And you came straight to me?"
I sniffed again. God, I hoped that I wasn't this emotional for the rest of my pregnancy. I wouldn't be able to make it through the day.
"Yeah, you always know what to do."
She reached out and took my hand. "Well, I think you do, too, so maybe you got it from me."
I laughed a little. "I expected a lecture," I admitted. "You were always so hard on me when I was growing up, so much harder than the boys. I figured you'd be incredibly disappointed."
It was my mother's turn to gape at me. "You really think I was harder on you than your brothers? Why?"
"You were always telling me to be polite, sit still, not talk back, get good grades. The list goes on and on," I said.
Mom laughed and shook her head. "I said all those things to your brothers, too. You were the only one who actually listened."
I took a moment to adjust to that concept. It was a bit like trying to look at a picture upside down.
"Lee—"
I lifted a hand. "Give me a second here. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that you and Dad weren't actually old-fashioned about gender roles but that my brothers ignored you and I didn't."
Mom laughed and smacked the table. "Where on earth would you get that idea? Old-fashioned about gender roles? Sexist, you mean? When have I ever been subservient to your father? Or expected you to wait on your dad and brothers hand and foot?"
She had a good point there. When the boys were growing up, she was the first to tell them they could make their own plate of food, fix their own snacks, wash their own drawers, and scrub their own bathroom.
Most of the time they ignored her about scrubbing the bathroom or roped me into doing it, but they did the rest. They did their laundry once a week, usually doubling up on their dirty clothes baskets so two boys could get their washing done in one load. They made their own food when they were hungry and it wasn't mealtimes. And they handled their own mail and bills.
"Huh, I can't believe I never realized it before."
Mom sipped her tea. "A lot of times, we don't see what's right in front of our faces."
We drank our tea in silence for a while and I finally told her my biggest worry about this pregnancy.
"I don't have health insurance. I don't know how I'm going to pay for this baby."
"Dad and I will get you added back onto ours," she said simply.
I shook my head. They couldn't afford to do that. They had a high-deductible plan right now because it was all they could afford after my dad's heart attack and open-heart surgery had put them under such huge financial strain. Sure, it would make my life easier but their premiums would likely double. They were almost done paying for dad's hospital stay two years ago.
"No, I can't let you do that."
"What about through the shop? You're the assistant manager. Are they still planning to promote you to full-time with benefits?"
I nodded. "Yes, but not until the beginning of next year."
By then it would be too late, I'd be in my third trimester.
"Ask Cam if she can move it up a bit," Mom suggested. "All she can do is say no."
I nodded and drank more tea.
Mom studied me for a long moment. "What about the father? Would you consider asking him for help?"
I thought about J.J. and I knew that I wouldn't have to ask. As soon as he found out I was pregnant, he was going to insist we do something crazy. Like get married.
"I know he'll want to help. He'll probably ask me to marry him the minute he hears."
"Why do you sound so glum about that?" she asked.
Because I didn't want any man to marry me out of a sense of obligation. I wanted what my parents had—unconditional, passionate love. My brothers and I had learned long ago to wear headphones if we were staying up late to read or study because Mom and Dad had a very...active intimate life.