A few minutes later, she was sitting across from me and we each had a cup of tea. I'd been thinking about what I should say for the last five minutes, but I still wasn't sure where to start.
"Tell me what's going on," my mother said.
I sipped my tea and said, "I have no idea what to tell you first."
"The most important thing."
My indrawn breath was shaky. I exhaled on a rush then told her, "I'm pregnant."
Her eyes widened. "I didn't realize you were seeing someone."
I shook my head. "I wasn't exactly seeing him. It was a short thing."
"A one-night stand, you mean?"
I couldn't control my wince, but I was honest with her anyway. It wasn't like my brothers hadn't pulled this stuff before. I always felt like Mom and Dad expected me to behave differently because I was the only girl, but I guess I just couldn't do it. "Yes. You know I don't have time for a boyfriend right now. I like this guy and he's great, but the timing just stinks."
She didn't say anything aloud, but I could see what she wanted to say in her eyes. That now a lot more than the timing was messed up.
"We used protection every time, and it may have been the first time I'd used condoms, but I took the time to look up how to—"
I stopped talking and closed my eyes. Yes, I'd just told my mother that I'd lost my virginity and gotten pregnant all in the same night. I'd never outright told her I was still a virgin before, but I think she knew.
Now, she knew I wasn't.
"Wow, you had sex for the first time and got pregnant all in the same night?"
I nodded, feeling sick to my stomach again.
Mom shook her head and gestured to my cup. "Drink your tea. It'll settle your stomach."
My eyes shot to her face. How had she known?
"I was sick as a dog with D.J., Robert, and Scott. Clayton and you were my easiest pregnancies, which is strange because they usually say the easiest pregnancies make the most difficult babies."
I sipped my tea and waited. Finally, I asked, "Aren't you going to say anything?"
She crossed her arms on the table and leaned forward. "Do you want me to tell you what I'm really thinking or what you think I'm thinking?"
"Mom," I groaned, closing my eyes. "Just tell me what you're really thinking."
She grinned. "That I'm gonna be a grandma again! I haven't had a new baby in this house in two years and I've been getting the itch." She stopped and stared at me. "But I can see that you're confused. Are you thinking about giving up the baby or terminating the pregnancy?"
I gaped at her. This was not the reaction I was expecting. And the truth was, it had never even occurred to me to put the baby up for adoption or even consider an abortion. I knew those were choices open to me and I might have taken them if I were five years younger, but the truth was that I wanted a family. Two or three kids. Maybe more. So, when I realized I was pregnant, my first thoughts had been about how I was going to raise a baby on my own and how I would make it work, because deep down, that's what I really wanted.
"I hadn't considered it," I answered, my voice quiet. "It's unexpected but not unwelcome. You know I've always wanted kids. I just wanted to do it the right way."
Mom guffawed, smacking the table with her hand. "There is no right way, Lee. Having babies is hard. It's messy and expensive." She stopped laughing then but she was still smiling when she said, "But it's worth every single bit of the hard stuff because children really are a blessing."
"You're not...upset that I got pregnant out of wedlock?" I asked.
"Good Lord, out of wedlock? What is this, the nineteenth century? Why should I be upset, Lee? You're grown. You're twenty-five years old, you have two degrees, and you have a good head on your shoulders. A darn sight better than either of your brothers had when they had their first babies. You also have your own home, no mortgage, and two jobs. There is no reason you shouldn't be able to handle having a baby on your own. Do I hope that the father won't leave you hanging? Yes. He needs to help you because