. . Donovan as your boss? How’s that going?”
Good and bad. But Hope wasn’t in the mood to confess that it hadn’t been as horrible as she’d expected.
“He’s going to pay child support,” Hope reported instead.
“That will make him feel better, knowing he’s helping Ella. And helping you,” Izzie said.
“I’m so confused,” Hope admitted. She still loved Donovan. And there was nothing she could do about it. Time and distance hadn’t diminished her feelings. Chastising herself hadn’t worked either. Every time she banished him from her mind, his image would somehow weasel its way back into her soul and put down roots . . . deeper than before. Should she accept that she would always love him like this, be in this much pain?
“I know you’re confused. And conflicted,” Izzie said, leaning her head against the cushion while gazing at Hope.
“Having Donovan here has turned everything upside down—” Hope started.
“Mom?”
Hope came awake.
Ella stood in the opened front door, looking at Hope as if she’d lost it. “Who are you talking to?” Ella scanned the room. “Is someone else here?”
Hope sat up. “No,” she said honestly as Izzie faded away.
“But you were talking as if . . .” Ella trailed off.
“Come sit here, Ella. I have some things to tell you about myself.”
Chapter 11
HOPE PATTED THE couch beside her. “Shut the door and then sit next to me.”
Ella froze, looking worried. “Are you sick?”
What could Hope say, that her heart had been broken a long time ago and never healed? “No, honey, I’m not sick. I’m as healthy as ever.” Now, her mental health, well, that was a different story.
Ella settled in beside her and Hope wrapped an arm around her shoulder. It felt good to have her daughter relax into her like she had when she was little.
Hope smoothed down Ella’s hair. “Sometimes, when I’m stressed, I dream about your Aunt Izzie. I tell her what’s going on with me, you, Piney . . . everyone.”
“Does she talk back?” Ella asked.
Hope nodded. “Yes.” She sighed, thinking about Izzie’s sage advice and the sharp words that usually went along with it. “I know I’m dreaming, but it feels so real. I’m sure it’s a defense mechanism to help me deal with my day. She helps me sort through what’s bothering me, especially if something unexpected happens.”
Ella turned her head up and stared into Hope’s face. “What happened? What’s bothering you now?”
Hope ripped the Band-Aid off. “The Hungry Bear. I no longer work there. Piney laid me off.”
Ella pulled away. “She can’t do that! You’ve been there forever. You practically run the place.”
“That’s an exaggeration, Ella.” Though Piney had relied on Hope to take over for her on many occasions. “It wasn’t personal,” she said soothingly, trying to pacify Ella and to calm herself as well. “Sparkle’s surgery cost a lot of money.”
“What are you going to do for a job? Are we going to have to move to Anchorage like Wes Splitlinger’s family, when his mom lost her job?” Ella teared up. “I don’t want to move. I want to graduate with all my friends at Sweet Home High.”
Hope put her hand on Ella’s arm. “We’re not moving, sweetie. I already found a job.” More like the job found her.
“Where?”
Hope knew the relief in Ella’s voice would be erased with her next words. “I took a job at Home Sweet Home Lodge.”
Ella stared at her as if she didn’t understand. “The lodge? Why? Are you trying to get back together with him? Or are you trying to force me to like him?”
“Heavens, no! You know why I had to take the job. I have to work. To pay for rent, utilities, food.”
“So that’s why you were talking about . . .” Apparently Ella couldn’t say her father’s name.
“Donovan,” Hope provided. “Yes.”
“I don’t want you working there! He never made an effort to get to know me, so why should I want to know him?” Ella started to stand, but Hope gently gripped her arm.
“Sit back down. There are things I have to tell you. I’ve known Donovan my whole life, and I’ve loved him that long, too. From the moment he moved in next door.”
“Loved him? How old were you?” Ella asked, almost accusingly.
“Six years old.”
“No one can fall in love when they’re six.”
“I would certainly agree with you if it hadn’t happened to me.”
“And what about him? Did he fall in love with you then?”
“No. But we were great friends. I’d even call us best friends if he and his