didn’t try to fix anything. Preston said his dad goes to a counselor sometimes. Dad could’ve done that, too, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to change.”
“Maybe he was afraid of change,” Thea said quietly. For a long time it had angered her that Dylan refused to seek help for his issues. And on some level she knew she couldn’t subject her kids to his mood swings and withdrawals forever. But she had to believe he didn’t know what to do. “Sometimes the fear of the unknown is harder to tackle than living with the same patterns and defense mechanisms you’ve hidden behind your whole life.” She should know. But she didn’t want to be stuck anymore. And she certainly didn’t want to take the guilt or any anger with her into the next chapter of her story. “Honey…your dad loved you kids.” He never knew how to show it, but she believed with all her heart he’d loved their children. After he died, she’d tried to protect their memories of him, casting him in a different light so they could remember only the happier times. “I could’ve tried harder. I could’ve done more.” Instead, she’d sent him off to battle with horrible, hateful words.
“You always tell me it’s not my job to make other people happy,” Liv reminded her. “You tell me happiness is a choice everyone has to make for themselves.”
“I’m glad to know you listen to me.” Even if it meant she had to hear her own lectures delivered back to her. “You’re right, honey. I did try.” She forgotten about most of those memories her daughter had brought up. Living in the shadows of Dylan’s death, it was easier to remember her failures.
“Dad didn’t choose to be happy. He could’ve. But he didn’t. He wasn’t nice to you.” Her daughter slid Thea’s shake back in front of her. “You deserve to have someone who is nice to you. You deserve to be happy. Ryan and I really want that for you. So if you do ever find someone who makes you happy, please don’t feel bad about going on a date.”
“Oh, Liv.” Her sweet little Olivia. Tears gathered in her eyes. “You have the most tender heart.” She hadn’t given her daughter enough credit. Somewhere in there, mixed in with the teen drama, maturity and love had started to bloom too. “Thank you.” For reminding her she had tried with Dylan. Those last words to him had been a mistake, but they didn’t represent all of their years together. They didn’t represent how hard she had tried, how deeply she’d wanted him to be happy too. “Maybe I can try to keep an open mind.” Maybe spending last night with Wes had changed something in her—maybe it made her want to tell the truth for the first time in years.
“Well, you may want to at least consider going on a date with Wes.” Her daughter smiled at her with a swift raise of her eyebrows. “He’s funny and goofy, but he’s also thoughtful. Especially with Ryan. And, I guess, even when he busted me. But he’s also super nice to you. And that’s what matters most.”
“Thanks for the advice.” Thea laughed, a lightness of heart raising her up. “You’re right.” She took a drink of her shake through the straw, savoring the rich chocolate taste, feeling younger and freer. “Maybe I can choose to be happy.”
It would take work, and some serious therapy focused on her, but for the first time, she felt maybe it was possible to climb out from underneath the guilt and regret to build the kind of love she’d always dreamed of finding.
Chapter Nineteen
There was a reason Wes hadn’t been back to this spot since his father had died.
Even when he’d been younger, he knew places evoked emotion, and he’d never been prepared to confront the memories that lived here. But it was time. Long past time, in fact. By not coming back to a place both he and his father had loved, he’d denied a part of his father’s legacy, his significance, and he refused to keep avoiding the emotions.
“Wow, this is quite the hidden spot.” Cal came up from behind him and slipped off his backpack.
“It’s pretty awesome.” Preston already had his pole out. “Can I fish over there?” He pointed to where the pond narrowed into the mouth of the creek.
“That’s a great spot.” Wes took in the view while he watched Ryan and Timothy splash each other as