Once Upon a Mail Order Bride - Linda Broday Page 0,33

them again.

Pushing those thoughts away, she secured her braid with a worn ribbon and went to bed.

Sometime after midnight, Addie woke. Had Ridge ever returned? She crept up the stairs barefoot, careful not to step on the creaky fourth board. The bedroom door was open, and light from the moon revealed Ridge’s sleeping form. And the empty whiskey bottle clutched in his hand.

The room reeked of alcohol.

He lay atop the coverlet, fully dressed except for his boots. His holster hung on a post at the foot of the bed. Relieved that he was back, she started to leave, then stopped. Utter loneliness hung thick in the air, stifling her. Ridge Steele’s fight with his demons had not ended well.

An urge that was part curiosity and part the need to touch him compelled her to move closer. She slid onto the bed beside her husband and lay there for a while, listening to his soft breathing. When he didn’t wake, she boldly curled her hand around his long, tanned fingers, her head barely touching his sleeve. Sadness oozed from her heart. This was her place to take.

And she yearned to.

So why not? She had no idea of how to go about it. She didn’t know how all this worked. Even before prison, she’d been clueless about marriage.

Maybe he drank because of the situation she’d insisted upon. Guilt washed over her. He’d given her an amazing horse, a comfortable home, an account at the mercantile for whatever her heart desired, for God’s sake.

She deserved none of that. Her selfishness and fear had forced this separation.

And what about her?

Tears slipped from the corner of her eye, wetting his arm. There was something terribly broken inside her. The same horrible loneliness that he must feel enveloped her. What good was it to marry if not to claim all the advantages of having someone to face life’s trials with? Someone to help ease the heavy burdens. She desperately wanted to fill that aching void that had gotten larger than ever. She yearned for strong arms around her, for someone to lean on when she grew weary—for someone to help fight her father’s power.

Tomorrow, she’d go see Dr. Mary and get her opinion about her condition.

Yes, that’s what she’d do.

Ridge mumbled something in his sleep and rolled to face her, the whiskey bottle clattering to the floor. He threw his arm across her hip, trapping her. Addie lay very still, afraid to breathe. His scent enveloped her and seeped into every pore, and for the next few moments, she felt something wonderful and new. Ridge was hers to claim, and she’d find some way to keep him. If she could only unlock her brain and find her words.

Afraid he’d awaken, she lifted his arm and tried to slip away, but he reached out and drew her against him, wrapping his arm around her. Now she was truly held fast, and there was nothing she could do but wait—and pray he didn’t wake up.

He would mistake what she was doing in his bed and expect…

What exactly?

Somewhere past her panic, she was reasonably sure he’d never use force against her. The time she’d been here had shown her that.

Lulled by his strong heartbeat, she began to feel safer than she had in a long time. Slowly, Addie drifted off to sleep.

“Why are you lying girl?” Ridge shouted. “You know the truth. Tell them I didn’t touch you!”

Addie jerked awake, her stomach knotted. What was he saying? Who had lied about him? It sounded like someone had accused him of attacking her. This was something more than a simple lie—this went much, much deeper.

While she pondered her next move, Ridge suddenly rolled the other way, freeing her. Addie eased away from his side and hurried down to her little dismal room that had first seemed perfect for her needs. Now it had become empty, airless, and sad.

She had to find a way to fix herself, then maybe she could help rid him of his demons.

Daylight would come in a few hours, and she couldn’t wait to implement her plan. It was long past time. She wanted to talk. She had things to say.

Nine

Ridge woke to a dream teasing the edges of his mind. He’d dreamed that Addie had shared his bed and woke to her scent, the warmth of her body next to him. He sat up abruptly, the room empty, her fragrance curling about him like cigar smoke. An indention in the pillow on the other side of