to dry her hair again, she added, “But we’re both old enough to know things now, and that’s good.”
“What things?”
“When to shut up, mainly.”
“What things do you shut up about?” Cindy asked, and Olive seemed to think about it, and then she said, “Well, for example, when he has his breakfast, I don’t say to him, Jack, why the hell do you have to scrape your bowl so hard.”
Cindy asked, “How long have you been married?”
“Coming up to almost two years, I guess. Imagine at my age, starting over again.” Olive put the towel in her lap and raised one opened hand slightly. “But it’s never starting over, Cindy, it’s just continuing on.”
For quite a while they sat in silence, and the rain could be heard on the roof. And then Olive said, “I don’t imagine you want to think of Tom starting over.”
Cindy let out a great sigh. “Oh, Mrs. Kitteridge, I can’t stand to think of him alone. I can’t stand it, really, I can’t. He’d be just a— Oh, he’d be like a big huge baby all alone, and that breaks my heart. But that he might be with someone, it breaks my heart more.”
Olive nodded as though she understood this. “You know, Cindy, you and Tom grew up together. Henry and I were like that. Eighteen when we met, twenty-one when we married, and the truth is—that’s who you lived with, that never ever goes away.” Olive gave a shrug. “It just doesn’t.”
“Do you talk about Henry to Jack Kennison?”
Olive looked at her. “Oh, yes. When Jack and I first met, we talked about his wife and my husband nonstop. Nonstop.”
“Was that uncomfortable?”
“God, no. It was wonderful.”
Cindy lay silent for a while. “I don’t know that I want to be talked about.”
Olive shrugged. “Not much you can do about it, if it comes to that. But I’ll tell you this, you will be sainted. You will become an absolute saint.”
Cindy laughed. She laughed! And Olive, after a moment, laughed as well.
Then Cindy said, “Your son. Does he like this Jack Kennison?”
Olive said nothing for a moment. Then she said, “No, he does not. But I don’t think he likes me much either. Even before I married Jack.”
“Oh, Olive, I’m sorry.”
Olive’s foot was bobbing up and down. “Ay-yuh,” she said. “Nothing to do about it at this point.”
Cindy hesitated, and then she asked, “Were things always bad with your son?”
Olive tilted her head as though thinking about this, and then she said, “I really don’t know. I don’t think so. Not for a while. Maybe things started with his first wife.”
After a minute, Cindy—who’d turned her gaze toward the window, and saw the grayness of the sleet that was splattering against it—said, “Well, I’m sure you didn’t scream and yell a lot like my mother did. She was difficult, Olive. But then, she had a difficult life.” She turned her face back to Olive.
And Olive said, “Oh, I think I did scream and yell a lot.”
Cindy opened her mouth, but Olive continued. “I can’t honestly remember, but I think I did. I was pretty awful when I felt like it. My son probably thinks I’m a difficult woman, like you think your mother was.”
“Well, I still loved her,” Cindy said.
“Yuh. And I suppose Christopher loves me.” Olive shook her head slowly. The two women were silent for a few minutes. Olive held the towel in her lap.
Then Olive leaned forward and said quietly, “I will tell you this, Cindy. There are times I miss Henry so much I feel that I can’t breathe.” She sat back, and Cindy thought there might be tears in her eyes. Olive blinked, then she finally said, “I miss him so much, Cindy, right out of the blue—and it’s not because Jack isn’t good to me, he is, mostly—but something will happen and I will think Henry.”
“I’m awfully glad you came over,” Cindy said. “You wouldn’t believe the people who don’t come over to see me.”
“Yes, I would. Believe it.”
“But why don’t they come see me? I mean, Olive. Old friends don’t even come see me.”
“They’re scared.”
“Well, too bad!”
“Oh, I agree. I agree with you about that.”
“But you’re not scared.”
“Nope.”
“Even though you’re scared of dying.”
“That’s right,” Olive said.
* * *
The weather remained nasty; the wind whistled through the windows and it rained and then snowed briefly and then rained again. To Cindy it seemed like this went on for days. In the mail during this time she received a card