about her dying. I thought the worst, which was unbearable to me, especially given what I’d been thinking. Anyway, she began to cry again shortly afterward, so I excused myself and returned to Northcott.”
Josiah leaned forward. “Was that it?”
“No, it wasn’t.” Aldous cleared his throat. “I resolved to go back the next day. To make restitution for what I saw as my poor behavior. I needed to appease my conscience. So off I went. Looking back, I knew something was wrong as soon as I rode into Highfield’s courtyard. It felt different, somehow. But, being eight years old, I suppose I didn’t pay it too much mind. I was simply intent on making amends for my mood the day before. I knocked on the door and a footman answered. When I asked to see Julian, the man told me to wait and closed the door in my face. Again, I thought it odd. Then Julian appeared a minute or two later, opening the door just a crack. I could tell he’d been crying, so I asked him what was wrong. She’s dead, Aldous, he said. She died last night.”
Silence descended for a few moments.
Josiah fidgeted. “And you thought it was Mama who died.”
“Yes. And I felt utterly sick, more so because I believed I’d lost the chance to make amends for my unkind thoughts the day before. I lived with the guilt of that day for years, and I never saw Julian again.”
“Oh, Papa,” Louise whispered. “How awful.”
Josiah wrinkled his nose. “This actually isn’t a very nice Christmas story.”
Grace smiled. “Oh, but there’s a happy ending. A very happy ending.”
“There is indeed,” Aldous replied.
“Because, of course, you found out later that Mama hadn’t died at all,” Louisa said.
“Correct. Years later, I was on my way to Northcott Manor for Christmas, when I got caught in a snowstorm on the moor. Luckily for me, I found shelter at Highfield, and that is when I learned that the baby, your mother, was very much alive. That it had been her mother who had died. Your grandmother. The sad part was that I also learned your Uncle Julian had been lost at Waterloo.”
“But you and Mama fell in love,” Louisa said, heaving a sigh. “How romantic.”
Arthur made a choking sound and rolled his eyes.
Aldous smiled. “Fell in love, got married, and had all you wonderful children. We consider ourselves to be very blessed. Is that a happy enough ending for you, Josiah?”
“Is that a happy enough ending for you, Josiah?” the gentleman repeated, as the image faded away.
“Yes, of course it is,” Josiah said, his chest tight with emotion. “I remember that Christmas well. Mama let me keep the ship-in-the-bottle. But that was then. Things changed after that. Papa and I began to fight all the time. He was glad to see me go, I guarantee it.”
“Well, let’s see how Christmas has been since you left, shall we?”
Christmas Eve, 1843
(Of Christmas Past)
Aldous sat by the fire in the parlor, his hands gripping the arms of his chair, his gaze fixed on the glowing coals in the hearth. He stirred as the grand clock in the hall chimed the half-hour, lifting his head to squint at the clock on the mantel.
Half-past eleven.
“Thirty minutes,” he muttered. “Just thirty minutes more.”
Behind him, the door creaked open and then closed again, followed by a soft footfall on the carpet. Aldous closed his eyes as a hand settled on his shoulder.
Grace moved around and settled herself at his feet. “You did very well at dinner, Aldous.”
“His empty chair at the table is always difficult to see,” he said, “but it’s far more difficult on this particular day. I just try not to let it show.”
“Our children know how you feel, my love.” She took his hand. “They feel it too.”
“Yes, I know they do.” He heaved a sigh. “It certainly doesn’t get any easier, does it? I remember it like it was yesterday. And it’s been four years, Grace. Four years! He’ll be twenty-one in two months.”
“He’ll come home one day.” A tear trickled down her cheek and she brushed it away. “I’m sure he will.”
“Come the New Year, I’ll hire another agent to search for him,” Aldous said, shifting in the chair. “We’ll try Paris again. London as well. I’ll speak to some of the officers when next I’m in the city. See if they know of anyone who might help.”
“That’s a good idea.” Grace smiled and brushed another tear away. “Listen, Aldous, why don’t you come