for something. It means trusting God. He may not answer my prayers the way I want, but praying is not a waste of time. I like feeling close to Him. It’s a lot better than sitting here with no hope. And no one to talk to when you’re sad.”
“We have each other.” A row of lines formed on her mother’s forehead, and she spoke tenderly. “Isn’t it possible that God has a bigger agenda than listening to one young girl from Foggy Ridge?”
“So now you’re saying He’s not even listening?”
The vacant expression on Mama’s face said more than words ever could. Abby felt the sting of tears at the back of her throat and swallowed hard. She had to go on.
“Mama,” she said in just above a whisper, “I figured out a long time ago how you and Hawk feel about God. It’s pretty obvious.”
A flicker of defensiveness flashed in her mother’s eyes but never made it to her lips.
“I remember how hard you used to pray,” Abby said. “At first, I mean. Every single day you prayed with us that Daddy and Riley Jo would come home.” Emotion threatened to steal Abby’s voice, but she had to finish. “And then something changed. You stopped praying. Stopped going to church. Stopped saying anything positive about God, the Bible, and Christians. You never want to talk about it, but I overhear things you say, especially to Grandpa. You’re so wrong, Mama. God does listen. And He answers prayer. You have to have faith.”
“I had faith, Abby. It didn’t change a thing.”
“You gave up. That’s not faith.”
Her mother wiggled out of the easy chair and rose to her feet, her face flushed. “I’m not going to argue with you about conversations that were never intended for your ears.”
“Kate,” Grandpa said softly, “your daughter’s speakin’ from her heart. It can only help to get it out in the open.”
Mama stood still as a statue, her arms folded tightly across her chest, her stony, thin-lipped expression making it evident she was done listening. “Finish your thought, Abby.”
“I did.”
“Fine. I’m going to my room to be alone with my thoughts—and maybe get some rest. I would appreciate it if you and your grandfather would refrain from filling Jesse’s head full of false hope right now. The best thing for him—for all of us—is the truth.”
Abby sat in the window seat in her room and looked up at the night sky that sparkled like a showcase of diamonds spread out on black velvet.
God, are You up there? Can You hear me? Or is Mama right when she says that You don’t listen to someone like me?
Abby moved her gaze across the heavens. She knew from the Psalms that God had not only created those stars but had also given each one a name. How hard could it be for Him to bring her dad and sister home? Or to make her family happy again? The search for Ella filled that vacuum with hope, and she wasn’t going to let Mama or Hawk take that from her. Her mind wandered back to the last memory she had of Riley Jo …
“I go giddyup!” Riley Jo tugged at the back pocket of Abby’s jeans. “Pweeze?”
Abby turned around and looked into her sister’s pleading blue eyes and her angelic face. “Oh, all right. One more time. But then we have to stop. I’m going over to Staci’s for a sleepover.” Abby bent down and let her tiny two-year-old sister climb onto her back. She held tightly to the back of Riley Jo’s knees—the toddler giggling all the while—as she trotted across the backyard to the fence, and then came back to where they started.
Riley Jo nudged Abby with her legs. “Not stop. Go giddyup!”
“We have to stop now. Staci’s mom will be here any minute.” Abby let her sister slide off her back.
Riley Jo stood facing Abby, her lower lip protruding. “I go too.”
“You can’t. It’s for big girls,” Abby said. “I’ll be home tomorrow. Let’s go find Madeline, and you can keep her with you until I get back.”
Abby took Riley Jo by the hand and went into the house. They walked back to the room they shared and over to the wooden cradle Daddy had made.
Abby picked up the beautiful, lifelike baby doll that Grandpa Buck and Grandma Becca had given Riley Jo for her second birthday. “Here. Madeline will sleep with you whenever I’m not here. You don’t have to be scared. I’ll be back.” Abby