off camera. The stark longing etched on his face, the tenderness and pain in his eyes, felt like a knife to her heart. The expression on his face, in his eyes, was so private, so personal, she felt intrusive even looking. Richard had captured both the beauty and the sorrow of love. She looked away.
“I’d say that’s the face of a man passionately in love,” she said past the lump in her throat.
She felt sick. If that was at her engagement party, chances were she knew the woman he so deeply loved. Or perhaps not. Most of the guests had been Elliott’s business acquaintances. It’d been a good opportunity for him to garner exposure for the gallery.
How could Elliott look so pleased when she felt like barfing?
“I agree,” he said. “That was taken with a zoom lens. Richard took this one with the regular lens.” He passed her another photo. “Take a look at the love of his life.”
Tawny steeled herself to look down. The picture fluttered to the table, out of her nerveless fingers. Stunned, she stared at the photo of herself sitting alone at a table. Everyone had gotten up to dance and she’d needed a few minutes at the table alone. Simon sat one table over.
That yearning, that passion, was directed at her.
“But that’s me,” she whispered.
“Yeah. As I said, a picture’s worth a thousand words. He loves you,” Elliott said with a triumphant smirk.
Shock numbed her. “But it doesn’t make any sense. This morning I told him how I felt, I told him I loved him, and he just walked away.”
Elliott nodded. “He would.”
“But why? I told him I loved him. He let me think he was in love with someone else and essentially told me to have a nice life.”
“Ever since I’ve known him he’s been emotionally neglected. Letitia and Charles aren’t bad people and they’re not cruel. And I think they’ve finally figured out what they did and want to make amends for it. They always had one another and Simon was left on his own. Thank God for his grandparents. If it hadn’t been for them... But Simon’s totally convinced he’s unlovable.”
She’d drawn similar conclusions from the little he’d told her about his childhood. But how could he possibly think himself unlovable? “Has he ever told you he’s unlovable?”
“He doesn’t have to. I’m falling back on clichés this morning, but if a picture’s worth a thousand words, actions speak louder than words. He holds everyone at arm’s length. I’ve been thinking a lot about Simon since we were at the hospital last night. I don’t think he was always this way, although he was when I met him. I think when he was a kid, his parents just kept shutting him out and he finally decided it hurt less if he was the one who closed the door. His parents. Jillian, a girl from England. You. Even me sometimes.”
It began to make a sad sort of sense. “Jillian married his cousin.”
Elliott’s eyebrows shot up. “You know about Jillian?”
“He mentioned her last night.”
“I’m amazed.”
“So, how did Jillian wind up married to his cousin?”
“She said once she got to know him that he wasn’t her cup of tea,” Elliott said.
As suddenly as they’d gone out, without fanfare the lights blinked back on.
“Well, I guess I just shed some light on everything,” Elliott drawled.
It was corny and Tawny rolled her eyes but laughed nonetheless. “Things are looking brighter by the minute.”
“Oh. That was so bad. I think I’ll excuse myself to your well-lit bathroom on that one.”
Elliott stood and left the room.
Simon loved her. Her. Not some nameless, faceless, skinny paragon. He loved her! If she didn’t understand his twisted logic, she might be tempted to pinch his head off for walking out on her this morning.
Already her apartment felt ten degrees cooler, which she knew was impossible. Perhaps it was that her heart felt so much lighter.
Richard cleared his throat and Tawny jumped. She’d forgotten all about him.
“I owe you an apology. It was wrong.... I was wrong....” He sighed. “This isn’t coming out right. I’m not saying being gay is wrong. I can’t believe loving someone is wrong. But for it to happen the way it did...while you were still engaged...I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for any pain I’ve caused you. I don’t expect you to be my friend, but for Elliott’s sake, I don’t want to be your enemy.”
Tawny busied herself with walking around the room blowing out candles. She straightened from