to be clear, right now, with everything. What I feel and what you feel, and what we want. Whether that’s separate or together. Right now, what you say is what I’ll believe. And what I say, you should believe because I mean it all the way to my bones.”
She held her breath, waiting for him to scoff or laugh. They needed to start fresh, to start from an equal playing field, and this might have been the only opportunity before more people and noise and chaos invaded and distracted them forever.
Nokx nodded and squeezed her waist. He paused, his palm resting right against the dagger she still carried, and EJ felt his smile as he rested his chin on her shoulder. His rough voice, so close and intimate, made her shiver. “You are my guiding star, EJ. I will take you anywhere in the universe. Whatever adventure you want to find, I’ll be there with you. It does not matter to me where you came from or what you did; that made you who you are, and I am grateful that you are in my life. I will do everything in my power to convince you how precious you are, even if it takes me the rest of our lives.”
Her vision blurred. “You want to stay with me?”
“Always,” he murmured, nibbling on her earlobe. “And you want to stay with me.”
The rusty tone made her head tilt back in anticipation, even as she cracked one eye open to check his expression. “How can you be sure?”
Nokx pressed the dagger against her side. “You still have my knife.”
“Good blades are hard to find,” she said.
He chuckled. “With as much trouble as you get into, you’ll need it.”
EJ wanted to frown with disapproval but couldn’t swallow her smile. Before she could appropriately threaten him, Nokx brushed his knuckles against her cheek and under her jaw to her throat. “And you, my little marmox? What do you have to tell me?”
She’d almost hoped he’d forgotten, but if this was the time to be clear and honest... EJ could hardly breathe. “I’m very glad I stowed away on your ship.”
Nokx snorted. “Very glad?”
“Well, mostly glad,” she said. “If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you. And that... that feels like it made everything else worthwhile. I spent so long feeling like I was lost, when I stowed away and you followed me into that room and made me come out, it felt like I was finally... found. So even with everything, I’m glad I picked your ship. How else would I have found you in all the universe?”
His scales flashed purple in warm swirls with hints of gold, and he made a rough noise in his throat. EJ meant every word. It still felt like an impossibility, that their paths had crossed. Her long journey through the Fleet and working for Bula, avoiding arrest for so long and then ending up on the Hollbrd, escaping on that one particular spaceport and picking the one particular ship that carried Nokx... They’d studied chaos theory at the Academy and she always felt as though she bounced randomly through the universe, but maybe it was more than just chance that brought her to Nokx and Nokx to her.
Otherwise the possibility that she might have missed him if she’d made one different decision or delayed by even just a few hours struck her cold with fear. As narrowly and often as they’d missed disaster just in the week they’d known each other, it seemed a statistical impossibility that they’d ever met.
“Well,” Nokx grumbled as he drew her tighter against his chest. EJ closed her eyes and breathed him in, trying to memorize everything about that moment. “You will never be lost again, nixtava. You are the heart of my hearts. I will always find you.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
EJ exhaled the anxiety that had taken root in her chest. Everything settled into place. She relaxed and Nokx relaxed, and she could have fallen asleep with her head on his chest, listening to the double-thump of his hearts. “Even if I’m a chaotic marmox?”
His chuckle rumbled through his chest and into her. “Especially if you’re a chaotic marmox.”
“Good. Because I have some ideas about what we should...” EJ trailed off as his wrist comms unit flashed, and a second later, a disembodied voice filled the sickbay. Her heart jumped to her throat.
EJ to the bridge. EJ to the bridge.
“That can’t be good,” she whispered.
Nokx held her waist and lifted her to her feet.