father’s and their brother’s descent.
“I understand,” she said simply. “I won’t make a poor choice,” she promised.
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” The shadows across his face eased ever so slightly. “I don’t think Mother can survive another thing like that.”
She nodded, hiding her wince.
What had she done?
All of this would have been so much easier if she. . .
Well, there was no point thinking about the past.
“Now, Robert,” she managed to say, all the while her heart ached, ached with a pain so intense she thought she might break. “You must tell me about all the things that you’ve been doing. That will be a much happier subject.”
“Mary, your marriage and your love should be a happy subject. If it is not, we must worry very much, indeed.”
She gave a tight nod, but she did not wish to discuss it any longer. So, she went back to studying the headlines of the newspaper, deliberately avoiding his stare, deliberately avoiding the questions he had, and deliberately avoiding the truth because she had no idea how to tell it without causing damage and rupture to her family at present.
She would find a way.
She knew she would.
It had to be done. And yet she felt completely lost.
Chapter 21
The comings and goings of everyday life continued. Mary and Heath lived in stolen moments. She’d never known anything so exciting and so strange.
Mary gazed out her bedroom window.
She looked at the tree that had become her dearest friend.
Who would have thought that, at such a stage, she’d learn to climb trees or, better yet, descend them? She supposed she could have tried sneaking down, out the corridor, along the back servants’ stairs, and hope to meet no one as she escaped out of the London townhouse to Heath’s club, but she’d chosen the path of adventure, and adventure dictated that descending the tree was far more fun.
When she grasped hold of the limb, her skirt tied up about her waist, pulled herself out of her window, and shimmied down, she laughed to herself. It was like having a glorious adventure every night.
Her mother had no clue where she was going. Perhaps it was terribly cruel and irresponsible, but she still had not yet discovered a way to tell her that she did not go to the great printing presses at Fleet Street during the day, or confess that at night, she was not at home. No, she was going off to be with her husband.
She hit the ground and looked both ways in the dark.
She scurried out to the waiting hackney cab just a few hundred feet away, climbed in, and with bated breath, set out in the darkness.
So much had occurred over the months, she could barely countenance it.
So many friends had married.
So many things had changed.
Her mother had grown in confidence and happiness, and so had she, but with each day, she knew she was going to have to confess to her family. At some point, the secret would no longer be one of joy, but one of difficulty.
Even so, she held onto this moment as she raced towards the East End.
There was poverty and danger where she was headed, all of those things, but she admired Heath for all he did to try to combat it. She too had begun to lend her skills to those causes in any way she could.
She held her hands in her lap, staring out the window, amazed by the life of London. The world had become more vivid, more alive, in her marriage, and she savored every moment.
Perhaps it was the fact that she had a secret she could hold to her heart, something that was hers entirely, something to protect: a love that was so full. Perhaps that’s what made everything more glorious.
She thought of her brother, who was seldom at home now and happy in his marriage. She thought of the Duke of Drake, who too had found love at last. She thought of Heath, who was always a mystery, even though she was married to him. She wondered if he would ever fully be known to her or even if she could be fully known to him.
It was such a silly, philosophical question, she supposed.
All that mattered was that they were together.
When the hackney cab finally rolled up to the club and she stepped down, a footman was waiting for her to escort her in. She passed through the gambling club, paying no attention to those who were still happily throwing away