walked through the place before renting it and realized there were no closets. How anyone could function without closets was beyond me, but the charm of the cottage had overlapped the lack of storage space, and I've managed to make it work.
"You're a riot," I replied, sinking down on my bed.
"So, did Tall, Dark and Sexy do the old bang-and-bolt?" Tressa asked, surveying my room critically.
"Um, I don't know. I can't remember," I admitted mortified. How much did I drink that I couldn't even remember whether I'd had sex?
"You mean, you don't remember him leaving, or you don't remember banging, Bang-a-licious?"
"Either," I answered weakly, cupping my throbbing head in my hands while fighting a fresh onslaught of nausea. It was official. I was a slut. Not only did I pick up strange men in a bar, but I also had sex with them without remembering it.
"What's the last thing you remember?" Brittni asked, sinking down on the other side of me.
"I remember talking with you guys in the bathroom and then joining him. I also remember talking to him…Oh god," I squawked.
"What?" Tressa demanded.
"I'm pretty sure I asked him if he was going to put his trunk in my head, or his trunk in me or something," I mumbled through my fingers.
"What?" Tressa busted out before laughing. "Well, that's one way to tell him you're interested," she gasped.
"I didn't mean it. The whiskey had my tongue all tied together. I meant to ask him if he was going to put my head in his trunk. And stop laughing. It's not that funny," I grumbled as Brittni joined in her laughter.
"Oh my god, that's classic. How did he respond?"
"How do you think?" I said, peeking through my fingers that covered my face.
"Okay, so you asked him to put his trunk in you," she snorted, trying to choke down her laughter. "What else?"
"Well, after that it gets kind of hazy. I know he ordered more rounds and at one point I believe I may have suggested strip darts. God, kill me now."
"Wow, you went all out," Tressa quipped, laughing again. "So, how far did the game of darts go?"
"I have no idea. I can't remember fuck-all after that. For all I know, I probably ran around Joe's buck naked."
"If you had, my mom would have been on it like white on rice, and it wasn't included in her daily scandal rap sheet, so I'd say you're safe," Brittni reassured me, grinning wickedly. "Were you wearing that when you woke up?" she asked, pointing to the clothes I'd pulled on.
"No, I was wearing my bra and panties," I answered, looking down at the t-shirt that was on backward.
"Hmmm, I find it hard to believe he'd bother to put your bra and panties on after ravishing your body, so chances are you passed out on Prince Hotness. Judging by the glass of water and bottle of aspirin on your table, he's part Prince Charming too," Brittni observed, pointing to my nightstand. "Here, take these," she said, popping open the bottle of aspirin. "Maybe you can just ask him where he put his trunk the next time you see him," she added laughing.
"I can't, he was just passing through. He's some kind of journalist and was on his way to his next story," I said, tossing back the pills before lying back on my bed. "So, you don't think I slept with him?" I asked, not sure if I was relieved. Sure, I wanted to get that one item marked off my list, but I kind of felt like it was cheating if I didn't remember it.
"I don't know. What do you feel like down there?" Tressa asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked, wary of where this was going.
"I mean, are things messy down there?" she replied, pointing between my legs.
"Oh, Jesus, Tressa, come on," Brittni piped in.
"Okay, I'm just kidding. I'm guessing he did not stick his trunk in your head or any other orifice on your body," Tressa confirmed, snickering again.
"Laugh it up. Karma's a bitch," I mumbled, throwing my arms over my eyes in a halfhearted attempt to block out the sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains over the bay window in the room.
"Don't you have to work today?" Brittni asked, straightening up my bed around me.
"Yeah, but not till noon," I said as the lull of sleep pulled me toward it.
"I don't know how to break it to you, sweets, but it's eleven fifteen," she pointed out.
"What the hell? Are you