of my life!”
Her breath comes shorter and faster. Should I use calming magic to stop the panic and help her? Or would that control upset her more?
“I didn’t know. Lia. Please. How can I make this better?”
“You can’t!”
All the trust and friendship I built with Amelia evaporates like the water did last night, and ends in the same disastrous way.
Before I can respond, Tobias places a hand on my shoulder. “Wait outside my room. I’ll deal with you once I’ve helped Amelia.”
If she’d hidden her tears or looked away from me, I could deal with the situation better. Instead, her accusing eyes stare back into mine and she creates something inside me that nobody else ever has.
Guilt that using my magic to get what I want has hurt somebody—hurt Amelia, the girl I care about.
I sit on a chair outside Tobias’s room and stare at the floor. I’m not only the arrogant dick she calls me, I’m also a selfish, stupid bastard. I invaded her privacy. As soon as I caught the question about her dad, I should’ve retreated.
Guilt doesn’t sit well in my stomach, which churns. Tobias once came down hard on me; one evening when I put on a magic show for my crowd for an ego boost. Nobody else could levitate another student, and their awe pushed my self-confidence as high as the delighted girl hovering in the air.
Until Tobias forced me to stop then dragged me away and spoke to me like I was a naughty five-year-old.
The door creaks open, and I look up to see Amelia’s figure already rushing down the hallway away from me. I stand, ready to call her back, but Tobias steps in my way.
“In there.” He jabs a finger into his room.
My pulse speeds when I’m unable to judge his anger level. Pretty high, since he’s inadvertently drawing my energy to him.
“Is Amelia okay?” I ask as I follow him.
He closes the door and crosses his arms as his glare continues. “I took away some of her distress.” Tobias’s face holds more colour than normal, which adds a warmth to his features that doesn’t match the sour look.
Took away her distress? Fed on her energy. Drew her emotions into himself, the way a pneuma vamp can. Ugh.
“Thank you,” I say.
He scoffs. “I didn’t do that for you. Amelia is one of my favourite students, and I don’t appreciate you treating her in this manner.”
“I didn’t know what I saw,” I admit.
“But you didn’t stop.”
“It was a few seconds, Tobias!” I protest. “I was curious. I like Amelia and want to understand her better.”
Tobias stares at me in surprise. “The way to understand someone is to spend time with a person, not rip memories from them.”
Harsh, but true. I nod.
He moves to sit on a nearby chair and nods at me to sit opposite him. “You hold a lot of promise, Matt, but you’re endangering your life.”
I frown, confused by his change of tack.
“I’m aware that Theodora gave you a last chance to rein in your magic and toe the line, but I also know that request goes against your nature. Ravenhold is a real possibility for you, Matt.”
“I don’t understand why the academy overreacts like this. I’ve never used anything dangerous or illegal.”
“Yet.” He’s terse again. “You may not intend to ever use illegal magic, but you have the ability and that frightens people. Rein yourself in or suffer the consequences.”
“But I need to practice, or I might lose some of my skill,” I protest. “I don’t want to be like everybody else.”
“Matt. You have no idea what Ravenhold does to people.”
“Do you?”
He glares at me and my boldness. “My life is not your concern. Focus on your own.”
“I am.”
Tobias pushes a hand through his hair and his voice softens. “I’ve met people like you before, and things never end well with this attitude. Some defect to the Dominion, others are killed. The unluckiest are sent to Ravenhold. Your talents would serve the Confederacy well. Don’t waste your life. If you want, I can help you.”
Does Tobias think he can take on students as special cases? I’m no Andrei: I have perfect control over my life.
“I have agreed to stop and my every move is being watched. What more do you want?”
“Firstly, do not talk to me in this manner, and secondly, that control over you is a temporary fix. You desire to continue on your own path, and I don’t think you’ll stop without intervention. Will you?”
I can’t reply, because