Amber was keen to mother baby Ruby, but eventually grew tired of that game and wished she could go back to being an only child. In contrast, Ruby adored her big sister. She followed her around like a faithful puppy, copying her every move, trying to be part of the gang. Amber and her mates soon realised that a little squirt like Ruby could have her uses. She hunted for lost balls, brought cans from the fridge, raided the biscuit tin and ran whatever other errands they could think of. Whenever she got in trouble for losing or breaking things – which was often – Amber never spoke up for her and always took their mother’s side in arguments.
Ruby strokes Mabel’s wispy auburn curls and thinks back to when Amber started going out with Gorgeous George, as he was known. Half the sixth form had a crush on him, girls and boys. He was a sports jock: captain of the football and cricket teams, county-level javelin thrower, the fastest swimmer in the school. He was the brawn and Amber the brains. They became the school power couple – attractive, bright, destined for glittering success.
George always came round to their house after school. Mum worked late, so between four o’clock and seven, Amber was in charge. She resented having to babysit so felt it only fair that Ruby slaved for her and George in return. She commandeered the lounge, switching off Ruby’s favourite TV programmes so she and George could play video games. Ruby was made to bring them drinks and snacks before being banished to her room, leaving them to snog and grope on the sofa.
When they left school, Amber with a clutch of A grades and George with more modest results, their relationship grew deeper and stronger, despite them going to different universities a hundred miles away from each other. Amber studied English while George did sports science. They spent all their free time together. Amber hardly ever came home in the holidays and the connection between the sisters, fragile as it was, fractured completely. She wasn’t around to support Ruby through boyfriend crises, exam stress or various struggles with identity and self-confidence, though by then Ruby had long given up expecting it.
It was only in the last few years – finding themselves living a few miles apart by accident – that they’d really got to know each other. They had entirely different personalities but discovered they had more in common than they realised – dealing with the same difficult mother being one of them. Ruby was thrilled when she learned she was going to be an auntie. They went shopping together for baby clothes and nursery furniture.
But after Mabel’s birth, the dynamic between them changed yet again. Now, for the first time in their sisterly history, Ruby is in control and Amber is the weak and needy one.
‘What went wrong, Mabel?’ Ruby asks, pulling the child onto her lap. ‘Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have find out all by myself?’
It’s half-six, not even dawn, when Ruby wakes, dragged out of a rather delicious dream by a noise she can’t place. A kind of high-pitched wailing. A fox, perhaps, or a seagull? It sounds animal-like. Nor can she immediately work out where she is. She rubs her eyes and her lids slowly unstick. Lifting her head, she looks blearily around her. Oh yes … of course. She’s at Amber’s flat, sleeping in the marital bed on the top floor. Babysitting while Amber and George—
Oh God, that’s what the noise is!
She leaps clumsily out of bed and pulls a jumper on over her pyjamas. Shit … shit … She pounds downstairs and bursts into what Amber calls the nursery. Mabel is lying on her back, screaming hysterically. Rushing over to the cot, Ruby picks her up and holds her tightly, stroking her hair and kissing her sweaty red cheeks.
‘I’m sorry, my little one, so so sorry,’ she soothes, rocking her from side to side. ‘You poor little darling. How long have you been crying? Bad Auntie Ruby for not hearing you.’
Mabel seems momentarily comforted, then picks up from where she left off, her shrieks penetrating Ruby’s eardrums and no doubt the bedroom walls.
‘No, no, please don’t cry, you’ll wake the neighbours. I know you’re cross, but it’s okay now, I’m here. Forgive me! I was upstairs in Mummy and Daddy’s room and I couldn’t hear you.’
She suddenly remembers the baby monitor and is dismayed