to wipe up the puddle of tea Kim had left on the work surface. Running some water into the bowl, she fetched the antibacterial spray she’d bought from under the sink and channelled her energies into wiping the cooker top while she tried to think. It was possible that Jemma had been lost and had just paused in the lane. She’d seemed to be fiddling with her sat nav when she’d driven past.
Possible, but not likely. Trying to still the panic in her chest, Cassie glanced around. The skirting boards were filthy. Crouching down, she applied herself to the task of cleaning those too. Her efforts would barely scratch the surface without scouring cream, though – after years’ worth of dirt collecting on them, the grime was ingrained – but at least they would be free of dust, which might be bad for the baby’s health.
She was applying herself to a particularly stubborn section when she heard Kim return with Samuel. Straightening up, Cassie smiled as her eyes lighted on him. He was such a little angel. Just like his father. Her heart hitched painfully.
‘Cassie… you don’t have to do that.’
‘Oh, I don’t mind.’ Cassie went across to wash her hands at the sink. ‘I thought I’d make myself useful while I was here, and it keeps me out of mischief,’ she said, grabbing some paper towels to dry them as she walked across to her grandson. ‘Doesn’t it, my gorgeous little one? Do you want to come for a walk with Nana and Mummy, darling?’ she asked him. ‘See all the colourful boats bobbing on the water?’
Kim passed him across to her, and she nestled him in her arms, kissing his forehead softly and breathing in the special baby smell of him. Immediately she was transported back to this time with Josh, when she’d promised to love and protect him. She’d let him down. I won’t let your son down, Josh, she told him now.
‘Actually, I was wondering…’ Kim looked at her hesitantly. ‘Do you mind if we postpone?’
Glancing back at her, Cassie noticed that she looked pale. ‘No, no problem. Are you all right? You’re not poorly, are you?’
‘I’m fine.’ Kim assured her. ‘Just a bit tired,’ she added, stifling a yawn. ‘I was up a lot with Samuel last night.’
Cassie nodded understandingly. ‘You’re bound to be. I was looking forward to taking him out, but of course we can postpone if you’re not up to it.’
‘Thanks, Cassie.’ Kim smiled. ‘I knew you’d understand. I thought we could have a bit of a chat instead and then maybe visit the cemetery later.’ She glanced down, fresh tears brimming in her eyes. ‘I don’t know why, but I’m really missing him today.’
‘I’d like that,’ Cassie said, smiling back at her. In reality, it would crucify her. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to go there since the funeral. But going with Kim might be a good thing, therapeutic for both of them. It would also give her the opportunity to dig a little deeper regarding her relationship with Jemma.
Kim was watching her. ‘You know, Cassie, if there’s ever anything you want to confide in me about, you’ll find I’m a good listener,’ she said, with a look of earnest sympathy. ‘And I promise you I’m the soul of discretion.’
Cassie looked at her slightly disbelievingly. Hadn’t she said these exact same words to Adam?
Twenty-Three
Jemma
‘He’s sleeping like a baby,’ Ryan joked, coming into the kitchen having performed a small miracle upstairs.
Or rather, like babies were supposed to sleep. Jemma sighed inwardly, despairing of her own inability to work the magic Ryan did and lull their baby into slumber. Smiling her appreciation at his parenting skills, she straightened up from the dishwasher and rolled her shoulders. She loved her job as a teaching assistant, but it had been a full-on day at school, followed by a full-on evening with Liam. Nothing she could do seemed to settle him. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I have no idea how you do it, but I’m so glad that you do.’
Ryan walked across to her. ‘It’s easier to be less stressed when you don’t have the brunt of the parenting duties.’ Easing her unruly tangle of hair aside, he kissed the nape of her neck, and then placed his hands on her shoulders and massaged her knotted muscles with his thumbs. ‘Sorry I was late back. I had to wait until the engineers were finished. Why don’t you grab yourself a glass of wine and