He gazed up at the sky, the stars bright now and the moon low. He did not speak of this. Other men did, but not him.
She was not to be denied the end of the story. “What did he do?”
“He killed them. Or, we did. On a nearby hill called Ayyadieh. He had them all brought there and put to the sword.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath. He waited for her to pull away, out of his arms.
Instead, she caressed his face. “Your king commanded it. You had no choice.”
“Do not make excuses, Elinor. I don’t.” He sighed so deeply that he felt his soul left him on his breath. “The enemy’s army was below the hill, shouting curses at us. I was on the line holding them off when they tried to attack. Then I looked back and saw—It was not only enemy warriors dying. There were women and children.”
She buried her face in his shoulder and clutched him hard. “What did you do?”
He remembered that moment, when he faced the carnage. In that instant nothing he believed held true anymore. There were some who had enjoyed the killing, but others who were repulsed by their own actions on that hill. He’d even seen two knights approach Richard to argue against the deed, only to be rebuffed.
“I could not stay there. I had not gone with the king to kill unarmed men and women and children. The way back into the city was blocked. So I walked down that hill. I assumed I would be killed.” He almost said he had counted on it. Nor would it have mattered. He was already dead inside, or at least all that was good had seemed gone.
“Yet you weren’t killed.”
“As I was leaving my position, a woman broke through our line, trying to escape. She was right near me when she was caught. Two men began to drag her back. She had two children with her. She looked at me with such fear—” A weak word, fear. It did not describe what he saw in her eyes. “I pushed the men away, grabbed her arm, and threw one child on my back. Then I started down. I sheathed my sword. It would do me no good. When I approached the enemy, I released the woman and she and her children ran to the army.” Sometimes he relived that slow minute while he paced forward.
“Did they spare you because of that woman?”
“I assume so. They let me pass. I kept walking until I reached the port. I did not march to Jerusalem with Richard. I did not want to look at the man again, let alone serve him with my sword.”
She held him in silence, occasionally giving him a kiss of reassurance. Then she turned on her back and looked at the sky with him.
She bit her lower lip. “Who will you fight for if there is a war between the king and Prince John, if Richard so disappointed you?”
“There will be no war, Elinor.”
“I wonder.”
He shifted so he could see her face, and her puckered brow. “There are those who plot, and John hopes enough do. He would be an usurper, however. There are men here, recruiting others to his cause. I hope they have not influenced good men to take risks that are treasonous.”
She wiped her eye with her hand and he realized tears had formed. “Such a frightening word, treason. I worry about my father, Zander. He is making friends who I do not think really care for him, but only seek to use him.”
He soothed her with a kiss. “Speak reason to him, so he does not get drawn in too deeply.”
“If men listened to women’s reason, there would be no treason, no wars, no uncompromising honor. Alas, we are ignored.”
“I will never ignore you if you speak reason to me, darling.”
She wrapped her arm around his neck, kissed him, then buried her face against him and inhaled deeply. “I must go. You know I must.”
“I will take you back now.”
They stood, and she brushed off her skirt. Then she placed her hand on his chest. “I am honored that you told me about that day, Zander. I think you believe it has left you bereft of your own goodness, though. It has not. You are not really The Devil’s Blade. You are the same Zander, deep inside.”
He guided her through the quiet castle. All the guests had retired, although Lord Yves probably entertained a few