it was rage or despair that was making me tremble or if it was a combination of the two. My feelings were so big and loud that I couldn’t parse them out and get to the driving force behind them.
“They have been real. Christ, the past few months have been a total disaster. And we’ve weathered that storm. We can weather this one too. Sure, my parents aren’t thrilled about what’s been going on, but none of that really has to do with you. They’re pissed at Brody and me, but they’ll get over it. And if they don’t…” I shrugged.
“If they don’t, what?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“What will you do if they don’t get over it?” He might have been dodging my gaze before, but his eyes were locked on me now. My answer to this question was clearly important, but I wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear.
“I won’t have to do anything. They will get over it. With all the shit Brody’s put them through over the years, they’ve become nothing if not resilient.”
Drew shook his head slowly. “You’re so naïve.”
His words made my spine stiffen. I stood from where I’d been sitting on the bed and faced him. “Excuse me?”
“You just…expect life to always go the way you want it. That it’ll bend to your will. And maybe that’s because it always has. Maybe that’s the difference between the haves and the have-nots. Life just unravels before you like a red carpet, while I have to pretend to be someone else to even find out where the carpet is.”
“That is…the strangest metaphor I’ve ever heard. And it’s bullshit. I work hard. Don’t diminish what I’ve gone through because you think it gives you ammunition to use against me. Maybe we’re fighting for different things in different ways, but we’re both fighting our own battles the best way we know how.”
“Right. And this is the best way I know how.”
“And what way is that?” I was sorry I asked as soon as the words were out of my mouth because I was sure I wasn’t going to like the answer.
“By leaving. By ending this before we get too deep into it.”
Tears prickled my eyes, but I fought them back. I wanted to rail at him that I was already in deep, but he clearly didn’t feel the same, and I didn’t want to give more of myself away. If he was content to break the connection between us, he could damn well do it without knowing he was breaking me in the process.
“By running away, you mean. By quitting. Giving up.”
He looked at me for a moment before replying in a quiet, controlled voice. “Walking away doesn’t mean I’m quitting. Sometimes the path you’re on isn’t the right one for you and you have to change course. That isn’t cowardly. It’s smart.”
“Oh, come on, Drew. You didn’t have any of these feelings before my parents showed up. How can a couple of hours have changed things for you this much?”
He took a couple of steps closer but brought himself up short as if he hadn’t realized he was moving closer. “I don’t expect you to understand. And I’m sorry that I can’t…be who you need. Who you deserve—”
“What makes you think you aren’t?”
He shook his head slightly. “I don’t belong in your world. And what’s more, I don’t want to be there.”
I scoffed. “You sound like my dad.”
“Doesn’t make me wrong.”
“You are, though. So wrong.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to live with that mistake.”
“So will I.”
He gave me a sad smile. “I think you’ll be just fine. In fact, I know you will.”
“If this conversation has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t know me at all.”
He reached out, his fingertips coming into contact with my hair before he tucked an errant strand behind my ear. “I really hope that’s not true.” In the blink of an eye, he was stepping away, moving toward his bags and hefting some into his arms. “I wish things could be different.”
“That’s bullshit. You could make things different by making a different choice.”
“Maybe. But this is the only choice I know how to make.”
“That makes me really sad for you.”
He laughed, but it was humorless. “I’m sad for me too. Goodbye, Sophia.”
I didn’t say anything as I watched him walk out of the room, laden with bags. I stood unmoving as I heard his footsteps creaking around the apartment as he probably made sure he wasn’t leaving anything behind.
It wasn’t until I heard