Never Enough - By Ashley Johnson Page 0,55

up?”

“Are you scared? You know of raising a baby?”

He sat there quietly as if he were processing the perfect response. “I am very scared, I’m not going to lie to you Mace but I know we can do this and we will be amazing parents. My parents were pieces of shit. I won’t be that way for my kid.”

He never opened up about his family and now that I thought about it, I knew nothing about them or him for that matter. My shit hole of a life always seemed to take the front seat. I suddenly felt so selfish and horrible for never asking anything about his life. I know the only reason he found out about my life so soon was because he just happened to be sitting there when my mom called but I should have been a better girlfriend to him. “What did they do?” I found myself asking trying to make up for my selfishness. My heart was hurting for him.

“They decided they didn’t want me anymore so they gave me up and skipped town. I grew up in and out of foster homes. Babies have a better chance of getting adopted than an older kid, so that was my life. Don’t look at me with your puppy dog eyes, it wasn’t that bad. I know it sounds horrible but trust me, I was just fine. I haven’t seen them since I was four. I have no idea who they are and I never want to know who they are.”

My arms instantly embraced him. “Ohmigod Trevor, I never knew. I’m so sorry. I feel horrible, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Hey don’t be. Probably for the same reason your secret was so hard to tell babe. It’s not easy I know that, that’s why I commended you for telling me when you did. I know that was hard as hell. If I would have never gone into the foster system I would have never met you. I’ve lived a much better life than they could have probably given me. Why do you think I am so into my music? Why I enjoy it so much? It’s my therapy...my release. You are my release. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I kissed his lips and kept my arms around him. I felt bad that I never asked him any questions about his past but now that we each knew our own worst secrets, I felt even closer to him than before. We were going to be a family. Trevor, I, and our baby would be a family. The thought sent butterflies into my stomach and I smiled. Things sometimes seemed like they were going too quickly for us but I didn’t mind. He and I were going to have the family we each never got to have, I couldn’t wait.

Halley knocked on the door and came inside. “Hey you guys ok?”

We were sitting up on the bed talking and smiling. “Never better. My first appointment is in two days.”

She grinned and came to hug me. “I better get to be the nanny or I’ll kick your ass after it’s born. I can’t beat up a pregnant woman but I’ll sure hate text you all the time though.” She was joking but seemed so serious. Did she honestly think she wouldn’t be the nanny? That was just absurd. Who else would it be?

I muffled my laugh then replied, “Well who else is it going to be?”

Baby talk really excited her and I guess it would seeing as how it wasn’t her who was pregnant. “So do you guys want a boy or a girl?! I hope you have a girl so she can be just like us and we can dress her up. Ohmigod it’s going to be so awesome I can’t wait! I’m sorry I’m just so excited!”

Trevor laughed and watched us giggle like little girls talking about hair bows and girl things he didn’t care about and gave us his answer, “As long as it’s healthy I am ok with whatever but I would like a boy.”

Halley rolled her eyes and laughed. “Typical guy answer!!”

“Hey I want a boy too! Girls are too much work! I mean have you met us?” I began laughing and waited for her reaction.”

She slapped my arm and laughed with me. “That’s exactly why you need a girl, so she can be as awesome as we are. Hey you guys come out here we’re going to order pizza. Pepperoni good with