Never Enough - By Ashley Johnson Page 0,20

I was dying to know why he chose me, but I was unsure of how to bring up that conversation. My self-esteem was alright but I always seemed to have that little bit of doubt that stuck around. That was a conversation we could have later if something grew between us. My mind suddenly raced to my Uncle Gary. He has been the rock I've leaned on these past 3 years and I had no idea how to break this to him if something did indeed happen? Would he feel betrayed? I hope not. I couldn't stand to upset him in any way. Would he shut me out of his life and leave me all alone? My brain reentered reality and Trevor was looking at me with a rather amused look about him. "You ok Macy? You seemed like you were out in space."

"I'm so sorry about that. I get that way when I'm thinking."

"Don't be sorry. What are you thinking about?" Now he wanted to be nosy? He could have pried at any other time and I most likely would have started spilling my guts. Not this time, not like this in a park with other ears around.

"Nothing really. Listen thanks for inviting me to lunch, I had a great time."

"You're welcome. I've been waiting for a chance to do something like this with you. I’m just glad we finally have the chance." He had sincerity in his eyes that I could not deny. I studied his facial expression then he began speaking again, "I know your uncle has a rule about you and me staying away from each other but I just couldn't stay away any longer."

What was this a blush-a-thon? He'd made me blush so many times today it was crazy. He also knew how to make a girls heart soar with the simplest words. "You, Trevor James, can't stay away from me?"

"You may find it hard to believe Macy but it's true. I wouldn't lie to you."

“And just why can’t you stay away from me?” I hated to snort in his face but I just wasn’t really sure if I were supposed to fall into this or not.

He looked out at the pond and back into my eyes. “Everything about you draws me in. I can’t describe it. I could try but I’d probably sound like an idiot.”

I laughed and looked away. “I seriously doubt you could sound like an idiot.”

He sat there as if he was going to say something else but he didn’t.

We sat in silence and I pulled my hand away to brush my hair behind my ears. I swallowed and took a deep breath taking in the warm air that was around us. I watched the breeze blow through the trees before looking back in his direction. His bluish gray eyes were amazing and I almost lost my train of thought. Without warning I looked at him and replied, "You shouldn't bother with me Trevor. I'm leaving, please don't follow me." I got up to make my exit and before I could move he grabbed my arm.

"Macy did I say something wrong? I thought we were having a good time. Please don't go." He was practically begging for me to stay with him and I was running away. My head knew my heart would jump in and thankfully I had the brains to stop this before it began. This is how it would always be.

I looked at him trying not to lose it, and then took my arm back from him. Without another word I walked off. I made my way to where my car was by the sandwich shop. I got in my car, drove up the road, parked it and cried. Cried tears for the past, tears for things I didn’t fully understand. Tears for someone who liked me and I’d just shoved them away. I'd never hear from him again. It was clearly for the best, it had to be. But for that brief moment, I cried.

I let myself back in the apartment. I was never happier to find it empty. I made a cup of black tea and sat at the kitchen counter. Most of my crying was under control by now. All I wanted to do was lie in a hot bathtub and listen to music. Before I could go make good on that, there was a knock at the door. I took a sip of my tea as I walked up to the door and peered