you with a man until the wedding?”

“You know that’s not what I mean—”

“What do you mean?” His eyes were piercing. Cold.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he understand? “What I mean isn’t about you and me. It’s about Molly. That I need to protect her.”

He folded his arms. Protecting himself? Or belligerent? I thought of his dead wife. Had Nick wanted children with her?

“Okay. So you’re saying you don’t want me around Molly?”

“No. I don’t know. I just want you to understand. I want us to be careful of her.”

He nodded. Arms still folded. Distancing. “Okay. I understand. Anything else?”

Damn. I’d hurt his feelings. Half of me wanted to unfold his arms and climb inside them, but the other half made me go on.

“Actually, there is. As long as we’re talking.”

“Shoot.”

Shoot? His wife popped to mind again, holding a revolver.

“It’s not about Molly. It’s about the case. There’s a rumor going around that a body was found. A nanny body, in a trash bag.”

He didn’t flinch. He looked me right in the eye, didn’t even blink. “Where’d you hear that?

I didn’t implicate Susan. “Neighbors. People. Is it true?” “It’s bullshit. Who’s spreading crap like that?” “You haven’t heard anything about this?” “Not a word.”

Why was he lying? “But if it were true, would you tell me?”

Aha. He blinked. “Zoe, don’t believe everything you hear. People are on the verge of panic, and rumors are going to fly. Don’t pay attention. Leave the investigation to the police and the FBI.”

First a blink, then an evasion. Nick knew about the bag; Susan had heard him talking about it. He was lying, but I couldn’t tell him that I knew. Was I as bad as he was, testing him? Setting him up?

“Nick, if we’re going to have any kind of relationship, I have to be able to trust you. I have to know you’ll tell me the truth. Not twist it for your convenience or omit it altogether.”

He swallowed some coffee. “The truth? That’s a pretty complex topic, isn’t it? There are a lot of sides to the truth; it isn’t solid and fixed like concrete. It’s more like Jell-O—fluid, changing with the circumstance, the moment, the point of view. Most people can’t grasp that.”

“That’s a sociopath’s definition. Truth is truth, not something you can shape to suit your purpose.”

“Okay. Is this about the nanny case? Or about life in general?”

“How can you separate the two?”

“Okay, then. If that’s how you want it, here’s the truth: I’ll tell you everything you need to know about the nanny case. But the whole picture? That’s for the police. Leave it to us. You’re a civilian.”

“So if a woman’s body was found down the street, you wouldn’t tell me.”

Half his mouth curled. It looked almost sinister. “I wouldn’t divulge information that could endanger a case. Not to you or anyone else. Please. Give this up, will you?”

“Give it up? You just said you wouldn’t tell me—” “So?”

“So you lied to me about the body, Nick. Didn’t you? And, if you’d lie about that, what else will you lie about? What are the rules? What can I trust?”

“Oh, man.” Nick’s hand brushed his hair, and he sat forward, elbows on his knees. “Look. Let’s get clear on this right away. You’re a smart, talented, pretty lady. And I’m a cop. A cop. That’s where the line is drawn. Understand?”

No. I didn’t. But I understood that we were fighting. I was mad, and so was he.

“I decide what you or the press or the public or anyone else knows about this or any other investigation. I don’t need people spreading rumors and making things worse than they already are.”

“You decide what others are allowed to know? Is that just on police matters? Or on personal ones, too?”

He hesitated only a moment. “It’s how it is. Period. Hey—you can be pissed if you want. You can tell me to get lost. But I am who I am, and I deal with things my way. Fact is, Zoe, I like you. I’d like to spend time with you. But that’s not going to happen if you’re going to interfere in the way I work. Or the way I am.”

I was seething. “Fine.” The words came through clenched jaws. “Then I guess that’s that. Because I can’t be with a man who isn’t honest with me.”

He didn’t answer. For a moment, we sat deadlocked in silence. In a normal situation, he would have left then. I expected him to, wanted