when he was sick, but I’d just assumed he was delirious.
My heart melted, and I wanted to cry because I liked him too. Good God, did I like him.
His fingers trailed from my wrist, intertwining our fingers. “And I’m kind of wondering … if you like me too.”
His intense concern shifted into the sweetest, most vulnerable smile. Something I’d never thought I’d see when I first started here. He’d been so stoic then, but he had been melting these last several weeks. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to see it because it would mean too much. But now, here he was, revealing his emotions and looking at me like a boy and begging me not to break his heart.
I bit my lip, feeling shy all of a sudden.
He exhaled through his nose. “Becky … I’m trying here.”
I stared at our intertwined fingers, feeling a little lost, out of control, out of my depth. We were so different, alike but different.
“I do like you,” I admitted softly because I knew in my gut that what I felt for this man went above the boss-nanny relationship. It went above my physical attraction toward him. I was attracted to him wholly—his personality, his physical appearance, his heart. “But you want to know things that I’ve buried. I’m not about to go digging them up again.” I peered up at him, practically begging him with my eyes. “I just can’t go there.”
Our intense moment was abruptly broken by the sound of the girls’ voices.
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!” the girls sang.
Sarah walked in, carrying a box with the biggest polka-dot bow on the top, and Charles and I took one healthy step away from each other. I took a huge breath to cleanse me from these roller-coaster emotions and put on a brave face for the girls.
Mary charged toward me, practically jumping me in the process. “Happy birthday, Becky! We love you.”
I pulled her higher, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing her forehead. Tears welled up behind my eyes. I’d never felt so needed, so appreciated, so loved by a whole family.
Sarah hugged me next. “Thanks, Becky. For helping me yesterday with my homework.”
I pulled her against me. Mason, the usual math guru, had been out with his girlfriend yesterday, therefore unavailable to help Sarah. To be honest, I’d had to YouTube some tutorials for fifth-grade math. It wasn’t an easy feat.
As we sat at the table, it felt so surreal that, over the last month, I’d grown so close to this family. Where Patty and Eleanor had always made me feel like family, this felt different—because I was an integral part of the family, even in the very short time that I’d spent here.
It was so big, so important to me. This feeling of belonging.
I leaned against the chair, thinking that this had to be, hands down, the best birthday that I’d ever had. I exhaled a long sigh of contentment. Experiencing this immense joy, I paused, my gaze flickering to Charles.
I liked things how they were, so I had to think about this budding thing happening between Charles and me.
I wasn’t sure I was willing to risk it.
Charles
We were at Pete’s Pizza Palace. Sarah and Mary had suggested it, and when had I ever denied my girls something that was reasonable and within my means? When Mary had asked for a unicorn when she turned three, I couldn’t exactly buy her one. When she cried and cried, Brad had dressed up as one, horn and all. That year, for Halloween, he had worn the unicorn costume out to a party, but the horn was on his penis that time. Classy.
I had reserved us two corner booths, and I was watching my girls play Skee Ball with Becky when Brad strolled in, holding a medium-sized box wrapped in pink.
He slid into the booth, opposite me. “Hey. Sorry I’m late. Where are the girls?”
I tipped my chin toward the other side of the room, where Becky was roaring with laughter from who knew what. It made me smile to watch her be so happy. I hated that she had such shitty memories as a child, and I hoped we were creating memories of the best birthday for her.
“I can’t believe she wanted to spend her birthday at Pete’s Pizza Palace.” Brad lifted the box he’d brought in, giving it a little shake. “I didn’t know what to get her, so I got her Beats by Dre. You know … so