“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, Becky. I am.” There was true sincerity in his tone.
I shrugged. “ ’Tis what it is.” I let my past slip from my memory, forced it back down into a box I hardly ever opened anymore. I continued with the pancakes, placing the cooked one on the plate and pouring more batter on the pan. “It isn’t any different from how you function. You haven’t been dealt the best cards either, but you don’t just lie down and die.”
I watched a flash of pain cross over his face.
“I wanted to. Trust me. If it wasn’t for the girls, I would have,” he admitted. “Didn’t your boyfriend ever celebrate your birthday?”
My whole body stiffened. My mind went into panic mode, searching through all the things I’d told him. When did I ever mentioned my ex-boyfriend?
“You mentioned dating a guy for a while. Someone who kind of enjoyed gambling.” His voice was light, but I knew he was fishing.
I flipped the pancake while my heartbeat thrashed in my ears. How much did I want to share without sharing too much?
“He must have celebrated your birthday. What kind of boyfriend doesn’t celebrate his girlfriend’s birthday?” His voice was softer this time, more cautious.
“My ex-boyfriend.” I turned off the stove and walked straight to the kitchen table with my stack of pancakes. “Let’s just say, he wasn’t the best boyfriend.”
When I passed him to get the milk and orange juice from the fridge, he reached for my forearm. “Becky …”
My breath caught at the intensity of his stare, the concern in them.
“Is that who you’re running from?”
His words were like a dose of cold water in my face, a slap against my cheek. I jerked back, unprepared.
I wanted to tell Charles everything. After keeping my secret to myself for so long, he was the person I wanted to tell the most because I wanted him to know me—all of me. He knew snippets of my life, but for once, I wanted to give someone the whole picture.
He squeezed my forearm, leaning in to get in my line of sight. “You can trust me, Becky. I’ll protect you.”
I squeezed my eyes tight. What a lovely thought, letting Charles protect me. Valiant of him. But he had no idea. He couldn’t protect me from Paul. He had no idea what kind of monster Paul was. If anything, this family, Charles included, would be collateral damage, and I couldn’t let that happen. I would never forgive myself. I couldn’t even fathom accidentally bringing that devil anywhere close to this perfect family.
I slowly extracted myself from him and ignored his question, opening the fridge and avoiding eye contact.
“Becky …” Desperation. There was desperation in his voice.
Charles was never desperate, and it tugged at my heart. Tugged so hard that I almost …
No!
My ears burned. I needed a minute to myself, but everyone would be down soon, and I had to get breakfast ready.
Task at hand.
Focus on the task at hand.
Glasses out. Juice for Mary. Milk for Sarah.
“Becky!” he whispered fiercely.
Cut the pancakes up for Mary. Tiny pieces. She likes tinier pieces.
“Becky …” He gently yanked me to face him, his face tormented. “I just want to get to know you more.”
There was a long, pregnant pause, and our eyes locked. I could see the confusion and sincerity in his eyes, questions he had for me, questions I couldn’t answer because it would reveal too much.
I trusted him. I did. But not with this. My mother was harmless. She could no longer hurt me or this family. So, while talking about her was painful, it didn’t bring imminent danger.
Still, I could feel this pressure cooker building inside of me, wanting to tell him, but I was also curious as to why he wanted to know so badly. “Why?” The word flew from my lips before I had a chance to stop it. I should have stayed silent. It didn’t matter why he wanted to get to know me more because I wasn’t going to bring up things I wanted to forget.
A small breath escaped him before he leaned into me. “Because … because I like you, Becky.” His words flew out effortlessly, straightforward, honest—all qualities signature to Charles, the CEO.
And I knew what he meant—that he liked me. Not just as a person, but he was also attracted to me. I guessed I should’ve known with the couple of hints he’d dropped, especially