view of his lean torso, and I couldn’t resist running my hand up his back.
Still grinning, he came back, lube bottle in hand, but then he turned serious. “This is like anything else, you know—we can always stop. If you don’t like it or if it’s too much.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“And anal isn’t, like, mandatory.”
“Really?”
“Not all guys do it. If you want to, I am definitely game, but don’t feel like you have to.”
I pushed myself up and kissed him. “Oh, I want to.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh-huh.”
His grin returned, and he popped the top on the lube bottle. But then he paused again. “You still okay with skipping condoms?”
I swallowed. We’d talked about it while I’d been on the road. He’d had time to get a blood test, which came back negative across the board. Plus he was on PrEP, and anyway, I’d been tested since the last time I’d had sex, which was two years ago. So…we’d agreed that condoms weren’t really necessary. I’d bought them just in case, and maybe that was a good thing because now that we were here…
“Hey.” He squeezed my leg, and when I met his gaze, his expression was completely genuine and serious. “It won’t hurt my feelings if you want to use them.”
My heart was hitting its familiar rapid-fire tempo, and I chewed the inside of my cheek. Was I just freaking out because I’d never been willing to risk going bareback with a girlfriend? Both our tests were clear. Nobody was getting knocked up. There was no reason to use a rubber with Devin. So why couldn’t I—
“Jase.” He touched my face, then sat up and pressed a gentle kiss to mine. “I’ve got a couple in my pocket.” He gestured toward the floor where our clothes had landed. “Let me get one.”
“You brought them? Even after we talked?”
He shrugged. “I wanted a backup in case one of us changed our mind.”
And just…like…that…
My heart started to slow down. There was no pressure. There was no point of no return. I’d said I was fine going bareback, but Devin was perfectly willing to let me change my mind at the very last second.
“Don’t move.” He kissed me again. “I’ll grab them.” He started to lean away, but I caught his arm.
“No.”
“Hmm?” He faced me again.
“Let’s not.” I drew him back in and kissed him softly.
“Are you sure? It really doesn’t make much difference to me. Sensation-wise.”
I nodded. “I know. But…” I swallowed. “I want to.”
He searched my eyes. Then he smiled, slid a hand up into my hair, and kissed me again, and we let it go on for a long, long time just because why the hell not?
Somewhere in the middle of all the kissing, Devin opened the bottle of lube, and he slicked up my cock. That was a whole new level of oh God, yes. I used lube all the time when I jerked off, but Devin’s slippery, talented hand was amazing, especially while he was kissing me like this.
Then he broke the kiss, and he put some lube on my hand. “I don’t need a ton of prep,” he said, lifting his chin to find my lips again, “but I enjoy it, so take as long as you want.”
“Duly noted,” I murmured just before he claimed my mouth.
Still stroking my cock, he parted his thighs, and I slid my hand down past his cock and between his legs. I teased him a little with a lubed fingertip, then pressed in, and he gave another one of those muffled moans that turned me on like crazy. Again when I added the second finger.
For ages, he stroked me and I fingered him and we made out, and I was only vaguely aware that we were working toward doing anything else. This was hot and sexy in ways I’d never experienced, and I was glad he’d said we could take our time with this part. Turned out I enjoyed it too. I loved the way he moaned and tensed and relaxed, and the way he rocked his hips as if he were trying to fuck himself on my fingers. I loved what he did with his hand, stroking me like he just wanted me to enjoy it, not like he wanted to get me off quite yet. And kissing. Holy fuck, I would never get tired of kissing this man.
Devin shivered hard, clenching around my fingers, and his voice came out as a moan as he said, “I want your dick.”