“To some extent, it’ll be our life. Cancellations, interruptions, slamming the brakes on anything and everything you can imagine. Fact is, a lot of perfectly good and well-meaning people can’t handle that. Or don’t want to. And I would rather know where you stand sooner than later before anyone gets more invested than we already are.”
Jase studied me, his expression unreadable. My heart pounded, because this was usually the part where the truth sank in, and a person realized my reality wasn’t one they could cope with.
“I need you to decide if you can handle this,” I said, barely whispering “If you can’t, then…” I could almost feel Haley’s hand on my shoulder and hear her telling me not to push any harder. Silently, I watched Jase as I fought the urge to say more.
Please, please don’t go. I haven’t felt this way for someone in ages.
If there’s one person out there who won’t take off over this, please let it be you.
After a moment, he said, “Dating me means being at the mercy of the regular season schedule and seeing me on FaceTime more than in person for most of the year. And being with someone who’s still figuring out who the hell he is.” He half-shrugged. “I’d be kind of a dick if I said there’s something wrong with you having a daughter who’s got medical problems she didn’t ask for.”
I blinked. “Really?”
“Well, yeah. I want to be with you.”
Oh, God, I wanted to hold on to that. To just believe it and accept it and have the Sword of Damocles gone.
But I’d been down this road too many times to naively believe this was the end of it.
It was a struggle, but I didn’t look away as I said, “I know you do. And I do, too. But I want you to think about the reality of what it means to be with me. What you’ll be giving up personally to stay with me. It doesn’t mean you’re an asshole. If that’s not what you signed up for, then—”
“I don’t think it’s what you or Dallas signed up for either.”
“But we can’t opt out. If you need to—”
“Devin.” He shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere. I want to be with you.” He touched his forehead to mine and stroked my cheek, and when he spoke again, he was barely whispering. “I don’t know if it’s too soon for this, but I love you.”
My heart melted, and I ran my fingers through his hair. “It’s not too soon.” I lifted my chin to brush my lips across his. “I love you too.”
Then he kissed me for real, and there was no doubt in my mind that he meant what he’d said. He loved me. He wasn’t going anywhere. By some miracle, he knew what we were up against, and he was holding me even tighter.
I was dizzy with relief and sheer exhilaration, and oh my God, I would never in a million years get tired of the way this man kissed. Especially now. Tonight, it felt…so good…to let myself get completely into this without that nagging worry in the back of my mind.
I wasn’t naïve enough to believe he couldn’t still turn around and decide this was too much for him, or that he wouldn’t ever find another reason to decide I wasn’t right for him, but we’d made it past that conversation. The one that had chewed up and spit out more than one promising relationship.
And I felt better about this than I had in a long time.
A thump got my attention, and I broke the kiss to see Tony stalking away from the couch.
Jase watched him go. “Think we offended him?”
“Probably.” I hooked a finger under his chin and turned him back toward me. “But now he’s out of the way.”
“Mmm, yes, he is.” Jase took full advantage, wrapping his arms around me as we shifted so I was on my back on the couch. It was a little small for the two of us, but whatever. We could’ve made the trunk of his Prius work if we had to.
Between kisses, he murmured, “Should we go into the bedroom?”
“Mmm, I think we’re good right here.” I slid my hands into his back pockets. “Pretty sure I can give you head on the couch just as good as I can in there.”
Jase groaned, leaning down to kiss my neck. “Fuck, please tell me you’re serious.”