recent excitement and the strong emotions they had experienced together.
To cover her confusion, she led the way into the small parlor. “Would you like tea? My housekeeper is out but I am quite capable of putting the kettle on the stove myself.”
“No, thank you.”
“Your leg appears to be giving you some trouble today. That is hardly a surprise after what happened last night. I have a bottle of Mrs. Marsh’s tonic upstairs in my bedroom. I’ll just dash up there and get some for you.”
She started toward the stairs.
“No.” He paused. “Thank you.”
She reminded herself that he had been through a great deal in the past twenty-four hours.
He followed her into the parlor but he did not sit down. Instead, he braced himself with both hands on the hilt of his cane and did not take his eyes off her.
“I stopped here before going home because there is something very important I must say to you,” he said. “I want to say it before I sleep.”
Dread descended on her. The small parlor seemed to grow darker. She tried to prepare herself for whatever was coming. Perhaps this was when he would explain in a kindly fashion that he cared for her but that marriage was not an option. Was she willing to commit to the continuation of their affair? she wondered. Yes. But such an arrangement could last only as long as he did not take a wife. She would not be a married man’s mistress.
But Joshua would never ask that of her, she told herself. He would not deceive a wife. He was above all a man of honor.
“I understand why both of them did what they did,” he said.
Consumed with her wild speculations about their future together or lack thereof, she did not immediately grasp his meaning.
“What?” she asked, going quite blank.
“I understand why Victor and Clement did the things they did.”
She pulled her jumbled thoughts together. This was about the closure of the case, not about their personal affairs. Really, what had she been thinking? Naturally he would want to tie up all the loose ends before he allowed himself to consider the personal angle.
“Yes, of course,” she said crisply. “A father’s grief and a lover’s sense of guilt are both very powerful motives.”
“I don’t think you comprehend what I am trying to tell you, Beatrice. I know why they went to the lengths they did, why they allowed themselves to be deluded and driven mad. Why they were willing to kill to revive Emma. I understand those things fully and completely because I am no different.”
“What?” Once again she felt blindsided.
“I would do whatever it took to save you,” he said.
She took a deep breath and allowed herself to relax.
“Yes, I know,” she said. “You were born to protect others. But you would find another way to go about it.”
“Perhaps,” he said. “If there was another way. But in the end, whatever it took. I love you, Beatrice.”
She was so dumbfounded she could only stare at him for a few seconds. She said the first words that came into her head.
“Do you mean to say that you actually believe in love?” she managed. “A form of energy that you cannot see or measure or test?”
“I certainly don’t believe that love is a form of paranormal energy,” he clarified, very serious now. “And I will admit that until I met you I had never experienced emotions of the sort that I feel for you. But I do not doubt this sense of certainty. It would be like doubting the truth of a sunrise or the tide. Simply because some powerful forces cannot be tested or measured does not mean that one must resort to psychical explanations.”
She was suddenly breathless. There was a peculiar roaring in her ears. The world outside the parlor ceased to exist. Frantically she struggled to hang on to reality.
“Well, actually there are other explanations for strong passions,” she said carefully. “Physical and intellectual attraction. The stimulating effects of shared danger. Mutual admiration. That very long year you spent in the country—”
“Do you love me?” he asked. “Could you love me?”
With that she tossed aside the tattered remnants of common sense. Laughter did battle with tears. She flung herself into his arms. He staggered under the impact but he somehow managed to move the cane out of the way, catch her and maintain his balance all at the same time. She put her arms around his neck.
“Oh, Joshua, yes, yes,” she said, joy flooding