apart. I shove him into his room and lock the door. Fleetingly, I glance at his new bed. It’s done with new sheets and pillows, all creams and gold.
Kent sits on the end and rubs his face.
“Go to sleep.”
He glances at me and blinks. Then he gets up and opens his dresser. He pulls out Willow’s picture and stares down at it. “This is her fault.” He licks his lips determinedly and then rips her picture up into a multiple pieces. They fall to the floor like onyx acid snow. He bends down and picks them up and then tosses them in his wastebasket. “Now we can sleep.”
He walks slowly to his bed, lies down, and holds his arms out. I crawl to him and fold myself against him. He rolls us over so I am pinned to his body. His feet come around me and his arms encircle me to him. There’s no way I’m leaving. I don’t realize how exhausted I am until I let everything go. I let it all go.
“Ask me again,” he whispers, half asleep. “Please?” he begs, when I remain silent.
I take a deep breath. “Do you love me?”
“Yes I do. I love you, Raina. I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He pulls back so I can see his face. His eyes spill over and I reach over to kiss away his tears. “Can I ask you?”
“Try it.”
He smiles sadly. “I think I know your answer.”
“Ask me anyway.”
“Do you love me, Rain?”
“Yes I do. I love you. You’re the first man I’ve ever loved. Please don’t hurt me anymore.”
Sadness turns his mouth down. “From here on out it’s only about making you smile; about making you happy. It’s about earning your love.” His eyes start to drift closed.
I kiss his eyelids before sleep joins our embrace. When I wake up I’m confused. At first I think it was all a dream. Kent, his embrace, our love—these things can’t be real. My heart falls. And then he stirs around me and I release my doubt. I snuggle against his chest as close as I can get without taking my clothes off. I need to be as close to him as possible. I’m not so sure he won’t get up and laugh in my face and run away forever.
“Are you finally awake?” His deep voice makes a chill travel down my spine.
“Have I been asleep long?”
“No. I slept long. You’ve been asleep so long I thought I’d have to kiss you awake.”
“Kent,” I warn. “Don’t.”
He laughs and tries to kiss my morning breath mouth.
I don’t fight him too hard this time. I wrap my arms around him as his lips and tongue caress me. For a few minutes we are nothing but this kiss. I know we’ll have to exist as more someday, maybe even soon, but for right now we are lips and breath. This makes sense. When we’re apart our separation feels senseless. He moves so he’s on top of me, pressing me into the mattress as his lips melt around me. Eventually he lifts up and I moan in disappointment.
“If we keep going, your clothes are going to disappear. If your clothes disappear, so will my self-control. I don’t think sex is the best thing right now. We need to talk.”
I give him my hopeful expression.
He closes his eyes. “Your spell has no power on me.”
I kiss his lips long and hard, earning a deep moan from him.
“Rain,” he pleads. “We need to talk.”
“We can talk after you make love to me.” I rub his back temptingly. “I need to be with you right now.”
“I want you to know how I feel.” He sounds serious. I cease moving my hands. “Tell me exactly what you want from me.”
“I want you to love me enough so my distrust has no power. It’s a part of me. There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“I can do that. You’ll trust me more than anyone someday. What else?”
“I want to know when we fight you’re not going to run. Because come on, we’re going to fight, it’s what we do.”
He smiles, chuckling because he knows it’s true. “No running. Where would I go? What else?”
“I want you to promise me no matter what you’ll never cheat on me.”
“I promise. I couldn’t find someone I wanted as much as you if I tried. Anything else?”
“I want you to get me a new job since you got me fired from my last one.”