He rubs his eyes again hectically and then points at me. “Ask me again. Ask me again if I love you.”
“No.” I cover my ears. “Don’t do it.”
“Ask me again!” he shouts, his eyes burning. “Please, baby. Ask me.”
“No.” I drop to my knees and cover my head with my hands. “Kent,” I beg. I am begging him.
“What, baby?” He slowly sinks to his knees and crawls to me. “Can I hug you? I’ve never wanted to hold someone so much in my life. Let me hold you. Let me have you.”
“Don’t touch me.” I back away from him. We can’t give each other what we want. “I have to go. You have to let me go like I have to let you go. We can’t do this anymore.” I am empty, exhausted, and I can’t do this anymore. “I can’t, Kent.”
He sucks in a sharp breath and the glossiness in his eyes shines. “Why won’t you ask me?”
“Because it doesn’t matter either way. I’m not different to you. You’re everything to me. How can that ever work?”
“We were trying. We can try again.”
“No.”
“Please,” he begs, truly in need of something. “No more other women. I don’t want them if they’re not you. No more drinking. I won’t have another drop. I bought a new couch. This couch is for you. I bought a new bed for us. You’re different, I promise with everything inside of me you are. I was mad. I was drunk. I didn’t mean any of it. You have to give me another chance.”
“How do I know you’re not going to do it again?”
“You have to trust me.”
I snort. “Like I did the last time?”
“Please. I want to be with you. I don’t need a month. I don’t need a day or an hour. I just need you, Rain.”
Don’t do it! My common sense demands.
I look my common sense right in the eye and shove her aside. I knock her down the way she’s been doing me, and then I crawl to Kent and he opens his arms for me. I fall into him. He wraps me in his arms so tightly I can’t breathe. I don’t need to. I squeeze him and inhale his skin, his hair, his everything. I need his everything.
“You need me?”
“I need you,” he promises. His dark eyes are glossy and sincere as they bore into me. “I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep knowing you’re not here. I can’t even think straight. I think that means I need you.”
“What about Willow?”
“What about Willow?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. “You’re all I’m worried about.”
“What about later when you want her still? That’s not fair to me.”
“Willow and I are done.” He doesn’t even balk. “We’re so done, I get it now. I get it. I accept it. After what she did I could never want her again. I don’t want a girl like that. I want a woman like you. Someone who’s so good she can’t not be. Someone who knows how to put up with my shit. Someone who loves my shit. You love my shit, don’t you, Rain?” He doesn’t pause for an answer, and I’m glad, because I don’t have one. “Don’t you want this?” He grabs my face between his hands and brings us together once more. “This consuming crazy scary beautiful feeling that’s been there since I opened the door. Don’t you want me, Rain?”
I press my forehead to his. “Kent, you’re not good for me and…”
“And what?”
“I want you anyway!”
“I can’t hear you.”
“I want you! I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“Oh, thank you, baby.” He presses our lips together.
The second they connect the fear disappears. A dam crumbles inside of me and the buzzing is back. I am alive again. I am my pulse, my blood rushing through my veins. I’m living. I push him down and lie on top of him. His lips are desperate. Mine are no different. There is nothing sexy about this kiss. It is need and want colliding. We are crashing into one another and the destruction is all I’ll ever want.
He pulls away suddenly and looks at the door.
A moment later I hear it too. Fists start pounding. Becca’s here. I love my sister with everything inside of me, but right now I am immune to anything but Kent. I get up and grab his hand, pulling him along with me. I lead him away from Becca, away from everything that can tear us