but smile back.
He looks particularly good today—he has recently had his hair cut. He is usually quite conservative with his hair, trimming it down almost to the scalp, but he has been growing it out recently, and now he has a short back and sides with the middle left an inch high. It suits him.
“I want to show you something, but you have to promise to keep it a secret.”
“Okay…”
“Promise.”
“I promise I’ll keep it a secret.”
He hums as he goes to his drawer and fishes something out. It is a box. A ring box.
“Who?” I squeak. As if there was ever any doubt who the ring is for. And who it isn’t for.
“Do you think she’ll like it?”
The ring is a two-carat princess cut diamond with a precious-stone setting. You would have to be blind not to like it.
“You want to propose to Ayoola,” I state, so we are all on the same page.
“Yes. Do you think she’ll say yes?”
Finally, a question I don’t know the answer to. I blink back hot tears and I clear my throat. “Isn’t this too soon?”
“When you know, you know. You’ll understand one day, Korede, when you’re in love.”
I surprise myself by laughing. It starts off as a gasp, then a giggle, then uncontrollable tear-jerking laughter. Tade is staring at me, but I can’t stop. When I finally calm down, he asks, “What’s so funny?”
“Tade…what do you like about my sister?”
“Everything.”
“But if you had to be specific.”
“Well…she is…she is really special.”
“Okay…but what makes her special?”
“She is just so…I mean, she is beautiful and perfect. I’ve never wanted to be with someone this much.”
I rub my forehead with my fingers. He fails to point out the fact that she laughs at the silliest things and never holds a grudge. He hasn’t mentioned how quick she is to cheat at games or that she can hemstitch a skirt without even looking at her fingers. He doesn’t know her best features or her…darkest secrets. And he doesn’t seem to care.
“Put your ring away, Tade.”
“What?”
“This is all…” I perch on his desk and try to find the words. “This is all just fun and games to her.”
He sighs, and shakes his head. “People change, Korede. I know she cheated on me, and all that, but that’s ’cause she hasn’t known real love. And that’s what I can give her.”
“She will hurt you.” I go to put my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs me off.
“I can handle…”
How can a man be so obtuse? The frustration I feel is like a gas bubble in my chest, and I cannot control the need to burp.
“No. I mean it—she will hurt you. Physically! She has hurt people—guys—before.” I try to illustrate my point with my hands, strangling thin air.
There is a moment of silence while he considers what I’ve said and I consider the fact that I said it. I drop my hands. I should stop talking now. I have told him as much as I can. He’s on his own from here.
“Is it because you don’t have someone?” he asks.
“Excuse me?”
“Why don’t you want Ayoola to move forward in life? It’s like you want her to depend on you for the rest of her days.” He shakes his head in disappointment and I have to check every urge to scream. I dig my nails into my palm. I’ve never held Ayoola back; if anything, I’ve given her a future.
“I don’t…”
“It’s like you don’t want her to be happy.”
“She’s killed before!” I shout, regretting the words as soon as I have uttered them. Tade shakes his head again, marveling at how low I am willing to stoop.
“She told me about the guy who died. Said you blame her for it.” I’m tempted to ask him which guy he is referring to, but I can see this is a battle that I cannot win. I lost before I even knew it had started. Ayoola may not be here, but Tade is like a puppet, speaking her words.
“Look.” His voice softens as he changes tack. “She really wants your approval, and all she gets from you is judgment and disdain. She lost someone she loved and all you do is make her feel responsible. I would never have thought you could be so cruel. I thought I knew you, Korede.”
“No. You know nothing about me, or the woman you are about to propose to. And by the way, Ayoola would never wear a ring less than three carats.” He stares at me