of character. You had one incident, a serious one, it’s true, but it’s not something that we can allow to become more important than it is. We have to put it behind us, Joely. Do you think you can do that?’
She wanted to, more than anything, and now she’d told him …
Without waiting for an answer he said, ‘I should have realized something like it had happened. You’ve never gone cold on me like that before, and so soon after Lionel’s death … But I’m always so busy and I kept thinking you’d get over the loss eventually.’
‘I did,’ she insisted. ‘I mean, actually I don’t think I ever will, because no one does when you’ve loved someone so much and they’ve been such a big part of your life, but I definitely started to find it easier to deal with than what I’d done.’
‘And then what did I do? I turned to your best friend for advice on our marriage and look how well that went.’
She inwardly winced.
He went to fetch more wine and refilled his glass. ‘As I see it,’ he said, sitting down again, ‘the greater crime here is mine, by a long way, although I should come clean about this: moving in with Martha was always meant to be temporary. It was an idea that she had – and I went along with – to try and bring you to your senses. She thought if I left you you’d fight to make me stay and somehow this would sort things out between us.’
Joely blinked incredulously.
‘I know, I know,’ he groaned, ‘I can hear how ridiculous that sounds now I’m saying it, but I was at my wits’ end and frankly I was prepared to try anything if I thought it would bring us back together.’
‘So you allowed her to manipulate you, to trick you … I hope you realize that that’s what she did …’
‘Of course I do, why do you think I came back as soon as I did? I should never have gone, obviously, but even you have to admit that we couldn’t have gone on the way we were.’
She wouldn’t argue with that, because he was right, but for him to have fallen for Martha’s blatantly self-serving answer to his problem when he’d always known she had designs on him was still hard to credit. In the end she said, ‘So did you sleep with her?’
He didn’t meet her eyes as he nodded.
‘And not just once?’
‘No, not just once, but maybe we can agree that details aren’t going to help the situation now.’
No they wouldn’t, and realizing she didn’t want them any more than he did she said, ‘Can I take it it’s over between you now?’
It was his turn to look incredulous. ‘Do you think I’d be sitting here if it weren’t? Like I said, the plan was always for me to go there for a few days and come back here as soon as you went off on assignment.’
She regarded him steadily. ‘But you slept with her.’
He couldn’t deny it, and she could see the shame and regret burning in his eyes. Perhaps it was a reflection of what was in hers, except he hadn’t been drunk, nor had he just suffered a painful bereavement. He’d been struggling to save his marriage and in so doing had slept with another woman. There was no logic to it, no excusing it either.
‘And the romantic weekend away that you didn’t invite Holly to?’ she asked.
‘It never happened, and it was never going to. I told Holly we were going away so she wouldn’t be around while I told Martha that I’d made a terrible mistake and that there was never going to be anything between us.’
Joely’s heart remained hard. ‘Have you heard from her since?’
Sighing, he pushed his phone across the table. ‘She’s texted a few times, but only to find out if I’ve made things up with you. You can read the messages if you like.’
Not touching the phone, she said, ‘That sounds as though she’s still living in hope that we might not make it.’
He appeared genuinely surprised. ‘Why? I don’t understand—’
‘Maybe you need to be a woman to see through that sort of artifice.’
Still appearing vaguely perplexed, he said, ‘All I can tell you is that I made it pretty clear that I was going to do everything in my power to try and make things work with you, but even if I didn’t succeed I wouldn’t be going back