bed beside his knees. He hated that he had to do this lying down, like an invalid.
‘Open the ledger,’ he said. ‘Inside is the list of debts our family has incurred over the past years.’
‘You mean your father?’
‘Our family,’ he insisted. ‘There’s also—’ He took a breath. If he spoke slowly and tonelessly, he could go longer. ‘There’s also a list of earnings from different sales.’
‘The cranes,’ she said, realising. ‘And the vases and ivory carvings.’
He nodded. ‘And some of our lands as well. I’ve been able to satisfy most of the creditors, but Zōu didn’t just want the money. I collected enough to cover my father’s debt to him. It nearly emptied all we had.’
Yan Ling scanned the ledger, her lips moving as she added the columns. She might not be able to read all the notations, but she would understand the figures.
‘Two million? Oh, Fei Long—’
‘I never got to Zōu,’ he said, cutting off her reply. Her pity would destroy him. ‘They stopped me in the streets and stole the money. I’m certain it was his men.’
‘You have to go to the head of the ward, then.’
‘The head of the North Hamlet is in the pocket of the slum lords.’
She closed the book, her mouth set in anger. ‘Then go higher. What about Minister Cao?’
‘I can’t go to Cao. Don’t you see? It would ruin us.’ He struggled to sit up, but Yan Ling moved to him, pressing firmly against his shoulders to remind him not to move.
‘Stop, Fei Long. You’re getting too excited.’
She was so close. Her gently curved mouth was right above him, out of reach.
‘Minister Cao has staked his reputation to help us already,’ he said, resigned. ‘I can’t go to Cao and insult him with this mess.’
‘Then what will you do?’ She frowned, not understanding, but with no choice but to accept.
‘There is only one thing left.’ He slumped back as all the energy drained from him. ‘I will have to sell the house.’
‘No,’ she gasped.
It was the same cold surrender he’d felt when he’d let Pearl go. He had to cut away a part of himself to do it. He tried to seal off the wound as quickly as possible. There was no drug for this sort of pain.
‘Moneylenders like Zōu seek out men that they can exploit. They don’t want just money, they want to enslave and control their prey. Then they can bleed them for ever. I’ve seen this happen before during my days as a student.’
Many of the favoured sons of wealthy families fell into the cycle of banquets and drinking and women. They bolstered their reputations through the parties they hosted. Sometimes they met with powerful friends, but many met with ruin, borrowing unspeakable amounts of cash that their families were required to pay. Fei Long could have easily fallen into the same trap.
He supposed his father found both alliances and temptation. This was why Zōu was delighted to hold his debt.
‘I won’t allow Zōu to bleed us dry. Better to make a decision now—while I can still have some control.’ He ground his teeth together and a bitter taste filled his mouth. ‘I’ll work to find the servants placements in other households. They’re loyal, good people. And you—by the end of the summer, you’ll be headed to Khitan.’
Yan Ling looked away while he spoke. He followed the line of her neck and throat with his eyes, the same view she’d so often tempted him with, sweeping her hair back while she was writing. Of all the losses, he would regret losing Yan Ling the most. It was his one, selfish allowance.
‘I’ll most likely keep Old Man Liang with me, wherever we end up. He’s always served my father well, but he’s old and set in his ways. I need you to make sure he carries out my orders to sell the house. Dao is forceful enough, but she might get sentimental.’
Her gaze swung back to him. ‘You insult me, Fei Long.’
A low fire burned in her eyes. She rose from the bed, setting aside the book. Her spine stiffened with anger.
‘You don’t think I have any sentiment for this house? I haven’t been here long, but I have no other home. This has been the happiest time of my life.’
She turned on him, fierce and beautiful. In that moment, he would have never believed the little mouse of a tea girl ever existed.