Debt on top of debt, and it wasn’t merely the amounts that were troubling.
Yan Ling went to the writing table to prepare for the day’s lesson while he watched her for as long as he dared. Then he returned to his desk and stared at the deeds to several holdings until his blood cooled. He would have to sell the plots of farmland. It was a sensible transaction, and wouldn’t raise any scandalous rumours. Fei Long would seek out respectable buyers. Nothing that would make the family lose face.
Only when Yan Ling bowed her head to concentrate on her writing did he allow the pain to escape. Just a moment of weakness before his mask was back in place. This was what was best for Yan Ling. She was going to a position of honour and privilege. It was what was best for all of them.
* * *
The lessons continued over the next week and even Yan Ling had to admit things were becoming easier. All the little details that had seemed impossible to remember at first began to fall into place naturally. She never felt quite the proper lady, but it wasn’t as if she were being presented before the divine Emperor. All she had to do was convince the Khitan court.
That morning, she strolled through the courtyard beside Bai Shen, practising her posture and the hundred little things he always schooled her on. She couldn’t get complacent, Fei Long reminded her. It seemed he watched her more intently now. She would catch him scrutinising her, the notices and letters on his desk forgotten. It was her signal to sit up straighter and focus harder.
‘Why are you always doing that with your hands?’ Bai Shen stopped mid-step to scrutinise her posture.
Yan Ling held her hands at her midsection, fingers clasped one hand over the other, elbows extended. ‘This is how the court ladies are always standing in paintings,’ she argued.
Since the night of Bai Shen’s performance, Fei Long had relaxed the restriction on her leaving the house. She’d made short excursions with Dao into the city parks and marketplace. One of her favourite activities was looking at paintings.
‘But it looks so docile.’ Bai Shen’s frown deepened until she unclasped her hands.
‘I think it looks elegant,’ she said, pouting.
He responded with a snort.
Bai Shen had covered different expressions and how to communicate an array of subtle emotions through just the angle and intensity of her eyes. She shot him a poisoned look. She was quite good at this one. She’d practised in her mirror.
‘You need to observe how the courtesans in the pleasure pavilions entertain,’ he said.
‘As if Fei Long would allow such a thing.’
She had asked Fei Long if they could return to the Pear Blossom Gardens for another show, but his answer had been an outright refusal. She’d sulked. His denial could only be a reflection of her poor behaviour that night.
Her chin lifted. ‘And I wouldn’t seek instruction from women of ill repute.’
‘How innocent you are.’ Bai Shen’s taunting was usually good-natured, but this morning he was intent on challenging her every word. ‘Gentlemen don’t go to such places for sex.’
She blushed at his candid use of the word. ‘Then what do they go for?’
‘To be enchanted. Every movement is a sensual act. An accomplished courtesan can drive a man mad with lust with the sight of a bared wrist.’
She sniffed. ‘As if a man would notice such details.’
‘So now you’re an expert on men.’
Everyone seemed irritable lately. Fei Long had become more pensive and gloomy and today Bai Shen had traded his usual cheer for a short temper. She wondered if he was suffering from another hangover.
‘Men may not notice, but they still understand,’ Bai Shen lectured. ‘Not in their heads, but deeper. It’s a hidden language.’
‘Show me, then.’ Apparently she still didn’t know how to enchant and entice. Fei Long certainly ignored her. Maybe she was getting irritable too.
‘This is called the lotus hand.’ He held out his hand, thumb and second finger touching lightly. The other fingers remained slightly curved with the little finger extended.
‘Lotus,’ she repeated, curving her fingers into the same position. Oddly, her hands did seem more elegant.
‘Chi wu.’ He demonstrated between each gesture. ‘Butterfly.’
She shook out her hands, feeling foolish for prancing about. She was starting to suspect that some of the exercises Bai Shen presented were for his own amusement.
‘Does Fei Long go to these courtesans?’ she asked.