make the voyage with an appointed court ambassador as well as an escort of attendants and guards. Every need will be attended to.’
‘Servants at my beck and call,’ she replied dutifully. ‘Who would imagine such a thing?’
‘You’ll be treated as a princess for the rest of your life.’ He had no choice but to push on. ‘It is normal to feel homesickness when going so far away. The feeling will pass.’
‘I don’t feel any homesickness for the village where I came from.’
She met his eyes and her gaze was so clear it cut him like glass. He could feel every breath labouring through his lungs, but she turned away first.
‘We always knew this was where I was meant to go,’ she conceded softly. ‘Changan isn’t my home anyway.’
‘Right. Very good thoughts.’ He should thank heaven that Yan Ling was so practical. She’d risen from nothing and this was an unfathomable opportunity for her.
‘Tell me more about Khitan,’ she said.
He rolled up the scroll and returned it to its case. ‘Khitan is ruled by a tribal confederation,’ he began. ‘The people live as nomads along the grassland steppes with several permanent settlements, but their capital isn’t very different from our cities.’
‘Who am I to marry, then?’
It took courage to ask that question as calmly as she did. He would be just as strong in return. He couldn’t falter now.
‘The current khagan petitioned the imperial court for a peace marriage as the previous leader had done. By showing his alliance with our empire, he strengthens his own position among the other tribes.’
She paused, as if taking a moment to absorb everything he’d told her. ‘Do you know,’ she said finally, forcing a smile to her lips that made his soul ache, ‘once I’m a princess, I’ll outrank you.’
‘Yes,’ he said hollowly. ‘I suppose that’s true.’
‘When you first told me about the alliance marriages and these false princesses, I thought you must be trying to trick me.’
She wandered away and he was left stranded, trailing after her with his gaze. Was it only an illusion, or did she stand taller? Her newfound grace put a barrier between them.
‘I thought you were so stiff and fussy at first,’ she said, amused at his expense.
Strange how he barely remembered their journey other than a few disjointed fragments. His mind had been occupied and his unexpected travelling companion had been only another burden. Yet here he was, hanging on Yan Ling’s every word.
He ventured towards her. ‘And what do you think now?’
It was beyond improper. He had no right asking such a damning question.
‘Well, now I know it to be true.’
Her eyes glittered brightly at him and the incline of her head revealed what might have been the hint of a smile. When had she learned to be coy? Or maybe it wasn’t learning at all, merely an innate knowledge that all women possessed.
Maybe all this learning was pointless. A Khitan chieftain had no need for a well-bred lady. Why had he been so determined to change her? Fei Long retreated to his desk and closed the case with more force than he intended.
Yan Ling regarded him with disappointment that the conversation was over. He was no fool. The boldness and danger of such evocative conversation was tempting, more intoxicating than wine. His heart was pumping fast from merely a few innocent words.
‘Everything you told me will come to pass, won’t it?’ she asked.
He gripped the map case. ‘Yes.’
‘I should thank you, then, for your generosity.’ Her voice faltered and she finally looked away, embarrassed.
‘Don’t say that,’ he ground out.
His stomach clenched. Her show of gratitude highlighted the ugliness of their deception. The household was surviving off an allowance from the imperial court: Yan Ling’s bride price. Fei Long went to her so suddenly that she swung around to face him. In Yan Ling’s eyes he saw trust and hope.
‘You don’t need to thank me for anything,’ he said gently. ‘I should be thanking you.’
‘Because we’re in this together,’ she said uncertainly.
He nodded, breathing deep. ‘Together.’
He wanted to confess everything to her right then, but it would have been for no one’s benefit but his own. He’d considered spilling his worries to Yan Ling more than once while she studied quietly across from him, but it wasn’t her burden to bear.
They never spoke of such personal matters in their family, even amongst themselves. It was taboo. That was why he had been shocked when his father’s death had revealed the disastrous state of the household finances.