Her voice sounded soft, plaintive. Vulnerable. She was being stupid.
‘I enjoyed tonight very much.’
‘Good.’
She couldn’t tell if he was irritated with her. He just sounded like he always did: solid, steady, unreadable.
‘I mean tonight was so very…good. Thank you.’
‘It was nothing.’
Her face burned at the warmth in his voice.
In the end, she couldn’t do it. Soon, they were walking again. Such a confession—unsightly with feeling, like some lovesick maiden’s lament. She’d do nothing but shame herself and embarrass Fei Long. Even worse, she might bring his derision upon her.
At some point, her left boot slipped and she stumbled. Fei Long caught her, but before she could mumble an apology, he cast the lantern aside and lifted her in his arms. Her breath caught in her throat as he cradled her against his chest. His muscles tensed against her weight.
‘But we’ll be seen,’ she protested.
‘It’s not far now.’
He adjusted his hold and started walking, making much better time without her stumbling beside him. Nervously, she curled her arms about his neck. There was no good place to hold on otherwise.
She was close enough to feel the beat of his heart against her, the soft labour of his breath. She stared at the strong cut of his jaw in profile and then she was drifting again, lulled by the confident rhythm of his stride and the enfolding heat of his body.
* * *
The next time she opened her eyes, she was gazing at the familiar rooftops of their courtyard. The view faded and then they were in her room and Fei Long was easing her into bed. Her heart thudded while she lay as still as she possibly could.
The darkness of the chamber made it impossible to see, but she could sense Fei Long above her. She could hear the sound of his breathing and feel his weight as he moved. He bent to reach for her boot and tugged it free. His touch just above her ankle was wickedly out of place and too intimate. A nobleman performing this servant’s gesture.
She should tell him she was awake, that he could go, but she couldn’t find her voice. Her breath came only in shallow gasps. Fei Long placed his hand firmly on her calf. Sensation radiated from his simple touch. Beloved heat coursed through her veins, pooling as a low tremor in her belly.
The second boot was off. Fei Long pulled the blanket over her and when he moved to tuck it about her shoulders, she found herself eye to eye with him. She hadn’t even enough sense to close them and pretend to sleep. Her skin flushed hot, though the wine had long burned away.
He didn’t say anything. The back of his fingers brushed gently over her cheek. A touch so brief, she couldn’t be sure it wasn’t inadvertent. She did close her eyes then, inhaling once, then exhaling.
Yan Ling didn’t know if she slept. When she opened her eyes again, it was still night time, but Fei Long was gone.
Chapter Eleven
It was a familiar scene now. Fei Long was at his desk in the study. She stood before him in a sun-yellow robe as if presenting herself before court.
She bowed slightly. ‘My Lord.’
He acknowledged her with a nod, not standing to greet her.
Excruciatingly familiar. She had been hoping for something different this day after their evening at the theatre. Fei Long didn’t even inspect her appearance to see if it was acceptable, as he usually did. Instead, he was intent on writing. His brush moved in fierce strokes over the paper. He even dispensed with the few lines of polite conversation they usually exchanged. His requirement, not hers. It was one of the methods he used to train her on etiquette.
Perhaps he expected her to initiate the conversation today. ‘What happened to the painting of the cranes?’ she asked.
A large brush painting of a flock of cranes resting beside a pond had adorned the wall beside Fei Long’s desk, yet the space was conspicuously empty today. Fei Long looked up at the blank spot as if unaware until that moment.
‘I’m having it replaced,’ he replied curtly before returning to whatever he was composing. ‘I’m very busy today,’ he reprimanded before she could speak again.
So no change. At least, not for the better. She’d been wondering all morning if her girlish imagination was making too much out of nothing. For hours, she’d waited anxiously, only to come here and face the harsh truth.