the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety features of this aircraft. I usually use it as a fan when I’m having my own personal summer, just like Cat is demonstrating for you,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Please take it out and play with it now.”
“There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight or in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the bathroom, we will assume you are on fire and then put you out. Don’t worry, this is a free service we provide, and we’re experts at keeping the spray of the fire extinguisher off of ourselves,” he joked, and Catharine nodded toward us with big, amused eyes.
“In a moment, we will be turning off the cabin lights, and it’s going to get really dark. If you’re afraid of the dark, now would be a good time to reach up and press the yellow button. The yellow button turns on your reading light. Please don’t press the orange button unless you absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat ejection button.”
I glanced up to see the orange button was, in fact, the flight attendant call button.
A soft chuckle left my lips. I guess I’d been wrong. This flight was different. These two were a nice change of pace from the usual dull flights I’d become accustomed to.
“I can say on behalf of myself, Cat, and the rest of our crew, we’re glad to have you on board. Thank you for choosing RoyalAir and giving us your business…and your money.” He grinned. “If there’s anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please don’t hesitate to ask,” he finished, smirked, and then winked toward us as he added one last sentiment, “but ask Cat first.”
Every passenger on the plane laughed, and then, surprisingly, gave the dynamic duo a round of applause.
Shit. Even I was laughing and clapping. It was rare to keep a plane full of New Yorkers happy, much less get them to actually listen to the safety instructions.
I watched as Cat and Casey did their final checks before strapping themselves into their jump seats at the front of the plane, and then I grabbed my phone to send my brother a final text.
There was one from him already waiting for me from our earlier exchange. Somehow, I’d missed it. I blamed the douchebag sitting next to me, but my mind said otherwise, whispering, you were too distracted by the pretty flight attendant.
Denver: That’s because you can see my charming smile in person. It takes some of the edge off.
Me: I guess it’s good that I’ll see you in person soon, then. You can remind me why I like you. About to take off. Should be there in about 2.5 hours.
“Good evening, this is your captain speaking. Thank you for choosing to fly with RoyalAir tonight. We are pleased to have some of the best and most professional flight attendants in the industry, but as you can see, none of them are on this flight…”
Cat smirked and Casey rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the hint of a smile on his lips.
“We’ll be taxiing for the runway for another two minutes,” the pilot added, “and then our takeoff toward Birmingham will begin. Please sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.”
After one last look at Catharine, I decided to do just that. Closing my eyes and settling into my seat, I shut out the world and let myself look forward to heading home—even if just for a little while.
“I’ll take another vodka and cranberry, babe,” Luke, the overzealous dickhead in first class, requested with a cursory raise of his empty glass as I stepped by his seat.
His condescending tone made a slight headache pulsate above my brow.
God, I’ll be glad when this flight is over…
Babe. If tossing out demeaning nicknames and demanding booze was this guy’s way of schmoozing women, he needed a reality check. Not to mention, how many drinks did he really need? We’d been in the air for ninety minutes, and already, this man had consumed no fewer than three drinks.
There was one certainty in this situation: any sign of slurred words or disruptive behavior, and I’d cut off his alcohol supply quicker than a doctor cuts an umbilical cord.
It was times like these, when dealing with assholes like Luke in 2B, that I started to question my decision to be a flight attendant. It’ll be so much fun, I’d naïvely thought. I’ll