turning to me. I struggled to keep my face placid, and not express any of the pleasure that I couldn't deny when he obviously chose me over Eleanor.
He said nothing for a minute, simply looking at me.
"You knew that you were my Beloved, but you didn't tell me," he finally said, his voice as carefully neutral as his expression.
Where were his expressions of undying devotion? Where was his declaration that he had picked me? Where was his arrogant statement that I was his Beloved, and he would fill my nights with endless passion, and my days with expressions of utmost gratitude?
Rather than any of that, I got a sense of carefully masked anger.
"Yes." I lifted my chin a little. "I knew. I don't like vampires. I never have."
"And yet you fed me."
"I didn't realize who you were then," I pointed out.
"You don't like vampires, but you fed me."
Kristoff and Pia sat opposite, their gazes shifting from Alec to me and back again, just as if they were watching a tennis match.
"I explained to you about that. I thought you could help Diamond and me get out of the Akasha."
"You fed me multiple times."
"Well, you were hungry!" I said, slapping my hands on my legs, wanting desperately to know what he was thinking and feeling, needing the reassurance that he wanted me. "What was I supposed to do, let you starve?"
"You didn't leave me behind. You were worried about my wounds."
"Are you going to catalog every single one of my actions with regards to you? Because if you are, you should include me slapping you for trying to kiss me."
His eyes narrowed. "You gave yourself to me. Repeatedly."
I glanced at the others. "OK, really, I'm sure they don't need to hear about that."
Pia giggled.
"You're my Beloved."
"Well . . . yeah, I guess I am. I wasn't quite sure about whether a reincarnated Beloved can be the same as the original one, but I guess that's been proven."
"You're my Beloved," he repeated, and without another word walked out of the room.
"Well, hell," I said, now thoroughly miserable. "He hates me!"
"I don't think . . ." Pia looked at Kristoff. "I don't think that's possible, is it? Can you hate your own Beloved ? "
"No." Kristoff got up, waving Pia back when she rose, as well. "He's just a bit stunned is all, what with Eleanor, and now . . . this. I'll go talk to him."
Alec? I asked, wanting desperately for him to reassure me.
No, he said, and closed me out of his mind.
No what? No, he didn't want to talk to me? No, he didn't hate me? No, he never wanted to see me again? If that was the case, why had he more or less dumped Eleanor ?
"I could just cry," I said, pleating the material of my pants in an effort to keep from doing exactly that.
"Don't, it'll just make your eyes puffy," Pia said, moving over to sit next to me. "Alec's a man, and you know how they are - some of them don't cope well with emotional things, and you have to admit, going from no Beloved to two in the space of a day could make the calmest vampire go a little bit nuts. I'm just a bit curious, though. You said you don't like vampires?"
"No, I don't. I saw Alec kill that woman who beheaded me. It was . . . he just bit her and drained her dry. It was horrible. And then my sister married one, and although she seems to be really happy with Avery, it seems so wrong, somehow. He drinks her blood!"
"Just as Kristoff drinks mine, and Alec feeds from you. Do you think that's wrong?"
"No," I admitted, pleating and repleating the material of my jeans on my leg. "It's very enjoyable, actually."
She smiled a slow smile that let me know that I wasn't the only one who found the act of feeding erotic.
"It's just that - I never wanted to be with Alec. I wanted him out of the Akasha, because that was only fair - he saved my butt in there from a wrath demon, and Diamond was having a good time, so when the de Marco guy said pick one, I picked him."
"Of course you did," Pia agreed. "I would have done the same. Not that I understand how you came to know the Ilargi, but we'll get to that, I'm sure."
"But I didn't want a permanent relationship with Alec. He's . . . a vampire!"
"You