and stared, and heaved a noisy sigh.
“I hate getting up early,” said Lila. “Why can’t you just let me sleep?”
“I can’t leave you home by yourself.”
“So just leave me in the car.”
“Not safe. And don’t change the subject. You were mean. How do you think Mrs. Futterman feels when you laugh at her?”
Appealing to Lila’s empathy did no good. Jo wasn’t even sure the girl had any. “If she doesn’t want people to laugh at her, why doesn’t she lose some weight?” Lila asked. She stuck out her bottom lip and exhaled hard enough to lift her bangs briefly off her forehead.
“It isn’t that easy,” Jo said. Lila muttered that it didn’t look like Mrs. Futterman was trying very hard, and Jo said, her voice sharp, “If you can’t be kind, how about you just be quiet?” She hated the harshness of her own voice, hated the way she had somehow started not just to look but even to sound exactly like her own mother. Had she been that impatient with Kim or Melissa? Had she spoken to them that way?
“And if your bed isn’t made, no TV tonight,” she said as they pulled into the Briarcliff parking lot. TV was on the schedule every night. Lila said that cards and board games were boring. She claimed she hated to read. She would roll her eyes if Jo suggested anything else—doing a craft project, learning to knit, running errands or baking cookies together.
“Hey,” said Lila, shading her eyes. “Who’s that?”
Jo looked and saw Missy waiting at the front door, with her backpack by her feet. Her heart sped up. When she’d talked to Missy on Sunday night, she had been fine, and busy, full of talk about her classes, and a boy she’d met, and some drama between her roommates. Now here she was.
Jo hurried out of the car, leaving the door open and the keys in the ignition and Lila still unbuckling her seat belt. Missy offered a limp wave and attempted a smile. “Hey. Um. I need to tell you something.”
She’s pregnant, Jo thought as her mouth went dry. She got fired. She’s on drugs, and I’m going to have to pay for rehab. “Um. So I went to the video store last night . . .” Jo saw Missy’s throat move as she swallowed. “Maybe we should go to Blockbuster and I can show you.”
* * *
The video was in the center of the “New Arrivals.” The woman on the box had feathered blond hair and a brilliant, pearly grin, but among the lineup of fit, tanned, long-legged, hard-bodied instructors, she stood out, with her rounded thighs and hips and warm smile. Instead of the high-cut leotard and ubiquitous leg warmers, she wore a plain white T-shirt and a pair of blue leggings. Get Fit with Nonie! read the words written in gold above her head. Jo heard herself starting to laugh. She picked up the box, laughing louder and louder. Can’t get worse, she thought. Well, I guess it can.
Missy said, “Mom?” and Jo just kept laughing, a shrill, witchy cackle, clutching her own shoulders, rocking on her heels with tears streaming down her cheeks until a clerk in a Blockbuster T-shirt came over and said, “Ma’am, are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Jo gasped, wiping her eyes. “I’m fine.” She flipped the box over and saw Nonie, her old friend, smiling as she stood, not in a meticulously lit exercise studio, but in what looked like someone’s living room. Behind her were six women of varying shapes and sizes, some in leotards, others in shorts and tank tops, one in sweatpants and a T-shirt. “Finally, a fitness video for the rest of us!” read the copy on the back of the box. “Follow along at your own pace as Nonie takes you through a series of simple moves that use your own body weight to build strength and aerobic fitness! Nonie’s assistants will demonstrate modifications for all fitness levels so that any BODY can do this workout! It’s EASY! It’s FUN! It’s FITNESS FOR EVERYONE!” Jo had to search, and squint, before she found her husband’s fingerprints, but they were there, in the small print at the bottom of the box: A Dave Braverman production.
“Oh, Mom,” said Missy, and put her arm around Jo’s shoulders, and even Lila, instead of muttering something mean about how it was Jo’s fault, gave her mom’s arm a small pat. Jo couldn’t stop laughing. She laughed and laughed until tears