Mr. Mitchell Billionaires' Club Book 2 - Raylin Marks Page 0,165

burdens to them, and they never let us forget it in more ways than one. They just wanted the money.” I rubbed my hand over the back of my neck as I spoke, knowing that talking about it would only help me find a place for my feelings. “No one ever told me any of those things weren’t my fault, so I guess it never occurred to me that maybe they weren’t. By the time I stopped running away and found a good family who cared about me, I was too far down the rabbit hole for any of it to mean anything to me.” I placed my elbows on the table and gripped my forehead, “I guess the weight of that made me feel kind of worthless. Maybe it’s easy to keep making fucked-up choices when your self-worth is non-existent. That’s why I ended up hooking up with Derek against everyone’s advice. After getting pregnant and all that, I just felt like I’d made my bed and now it was time to lie in it. I realize now, that couldn’t have been farther from reality. It seems so clear to me at this moment.”

Ash and I just stared at each other and laughed with my newfound realization. I knew I had a very long road ahead of me, but at least I understood now.

“What are you going to do now?” she asked, stealing the thought from my head.

“Derek is the most toxic thing in my life,” I answered her as I sank back against the booth. “In Addison’s life. I have to get him out of it just like Jim was saying all along.” I shook my head, loving that man for trying so hard and wishing I had been smart enough to listen to him. “I have to find a way to sell my car,” I said. “I have no idea where to start, but I’m going for it. I’ve had an irrational fear—planted by Derek—that the court system would take Addison from me if I ever went after him. He says I’m no better than he is in the court’s eyes, but I don’t believe that. I can’t believe that if for no other reason than the fact that my record is old and his is fresh and still racking up charges regularly.”

“You have no reason to be afraid that she’ll be taken from you. None. I can’t believe he made you think you were no better than he is after everything he’s done,” she said sympathetically. “I wish I’d picked up on this earlier.”

“I wouldn’t have listened,” I answered her truthfully. “It’s why I walked out on Jim and never looked back. He tried helping. I shut him out for it.”

“Out of curiosity, why are you selling the car?”

“That car has to be worth a lot of money,” I said. “I can get a retainer on a lawyer and another regular car to get Addy and me around. In his own way,” I smiled, hoping one day Jim would one day know that he did help me, “Jim helped pay for the lawyers.”

“You’re going for it, then?” She smiled.

“My sponsor, Javier, told me about lawyers who help people in my position.”

“Call Javier tonight, then, and if there’s anything Jake and I can do to support you or help in any way, you know we’ll be there.”

“Would you mind asking Jake if he knows anyone who can help me sell a luxury vehicle? I’d really appreciate that help.”

She smiled. “Done. And if you can’t find another, trust me, Jake’s as much a car enthusiast as Jim is. We have a Range Rover that we never drive. Why don’t we trade the cars out? Jake will sell yours for you, and you can use ours until you find something else.” She eyed me. “You’re going hard and fast. You need to be sure you’re ready for this.”

“I know what I need the most, and that’s to get that addict away from my daughter. If he doesn’t want help, he can destroy his life, not hers.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Ash said with a smile, grabbing the ticket. “Dinner’s on me, sweetie.”

The next month went by slowly and roughly, but it was steady. By the time I got the money to retain a lawyer and begin the custody battle for Addy, Derek had rolled his truck in the canyons and was in critical condition for over a week. I never went to see him in the hospital. I only