it isn’t the nightmares, it’s the baby kicking me,” she said softly. “Everything hurts these days.”
“Just a couple weeks until the big day. Then the little devil can serenade you with cries all night.”
“Thanks for words of encouragement, friend,” Alice chuckled.
I was pulling her leg, when in truth, I felt for her.
Being a single mother to a newborn on the way couldn’t be easy.
I’d insisted she move closer, but she couldn’t leave the first house she and Henry bought together.
And me… I couldn’t step foot in it.
People handled grief in in different ways.
Though, it was much more than grief for me.
“I got the check in the mail,” Alice said. “We talked about this. You shouldn’t have.”
“It’s not much,” I said. “Buy Matilda something nice.”
Money was the least I could do.
If I could live that horrible day again I’d put myself in his shoes, a thousand times over. I was the only one responsible for Henry’s death.
Alice knew I was there for her, and I’d jump on a flight in a heartbeat whenever she needed. I owed it to Henry and Alice to make sure she was taken care of.
Henry was my best friend.
And after what I let happen to him, Alice became a widow at a young age.
While my name was cleared, I was the one to blame. I never once gave a damn what others thought about me. I blamed myself enough. Every single fucking day.
My nightmares were there to never let me forget.
Alice didn’t blame me.
She didn’t need to. I could see it in her eyes every time she looked at me - why Henry instead of me. I didn’t blame her for those thoughts. After all, my best friend had a wife and a kid on the way. I had no one.
And when it came to me helping her financially, we went through the same song and dance every month. I always found some way to send her money. She hadn’t been able to work for a few months; her doctors had ordered her on bed rest.
Besides, it’s what Henry would have done had the situation been reversed. Not that I’d ever have a kid, but that was beside the point. If I’d died and left a family behind, Henry would have taken care of them. That’s just who he is.
Was.
That’s who he was.
Fuck.
“You still shouldn’t have,” Alice repeated. “I mean it, Kellen. Henry died in the line of duty. He worked in a dangerous profession, and the fire department is taking care of us.”
It wasn’t enough.
It would never be enough.
Henry had been a good man, one of the best I knew. His wife was one hell of a woman too. She didn’t deserve this.
“You know I’m doing okay,” I said. “I’ve stashed away a lot of money over the years, and God knows, I have more than I’ll ever need in a lifetime.”
Alice groaned on the other end of the line.
“Alice?”
“Yeah, sorry, I—”
My heart raced.
“I think Matilda might be ready to make an appearance,” Alice said, breathing heavily.
The baby was coming.
Jesus fucking Christ, the baby was coming.
Not being there made my skin crawl.
I needed no further convincing to get my ass to the airport.
Finally, I stated the obvious.
“Get off the phone and call an ambulance.”
“Yeah, probably a good idea,” she said. “I think this is the real deal.”
She cried out in pain as we said our goodbyes.
“I’ll book the first flight out to see you,” I promised before hanging up the phone.
She was alone.
Her parents were dead. No siblings.
And her husband dead too.
I couldn’t let Alice deliver her baby alone.
Her pregnancy hadn’t been easy. She’d struggled with high blood pressure, probably from the stress of becoming a widow while she was pregnant. I wasn’t a doctor, but I’d bet my life on that being the cause. She had other issues, things I didn’t understand, and been confined to bed rest for the last few weeks.
But now, it was time.
***
After the phone call, I’d looked up flights to Washington and booked one for that afternoon. Being in the middle of nowhere meant it would take me awhile to get to the nearest major airport.
I had my reasons for living in the mountains. But living the life of isolation became a huge pain in the ass in times like these
I had some quick business to attend to before leaving town and I had no time to spare.
Taking a heavy breath, I grabbed my phone and dialed my only actual friend in town, Grant.
“Hello Kellen. Bit early, even for