it over, I can’t make any sense of it.
If you committed suicide, why did you leave the letter in the study drawer, Diana? Why wouldn’t you leave it where you knew someone would find it?
12
Lucy
The past …
A week or two before Archie’s first birthday, Ollie and I arrive at Tom and Diana’s house. We are immediately shuffled into the front living room, the “good room” all the Goodwins call it, which is strange because all the rooms seem pretty good to me. Still, it’s a novelty as we usually gather around bar stools in the kitchen, or hang out in the den.
“Can I get you another mineral water, Lucy?” Diana asks.
“No, I’m fine, thank you.”
Diana and Tom’s sofa is so plump with stuffing that I have to clutch the armrest for stability. It doesn’t help that my knee is doing its nervous bounce thing. Diana does nothing to put me at ease. She is her classic self today—her gaze beady and guarded. She sits right on the edge of the couch, her legs crossed at the knee. Nettie and Patrick were here when we arrived, but after giving us a quick, apologetic wave, they made themselves scarce. I wish I could make myself scarce.
Diana and I attempt to make small talk—about work (mine, never hers), about my dad’s health (the precancerous mole he recently had removed), about the 70s zebra-striped jumpsuit and jacket combo I’m wearing (which Diana mistook for pajamas), but I sense Diana’s heart isn’t in it and neither is mine. We both want to get on with what we came here for, and it’s clear from the fact that Ollie and I suggested this meeting that we want something.
“Cheese?” Diana says, holding up an antipasto platter.
“No,” I say, and we drift back into silence.
Unfortunately, Ollie is still locked in conversation with Tom, long after Diana and I have exhausted all avenues of conversation. Tom, it appears, is talking about the inheritance again. He adores talking about the inheritance and drops it into conversation as often as he possibly can. It reminds me of a child desperate to tell their friend what they’d gotten them as a birthday present before they can tear off the paper. The inheritance, he says, will look after us in our old age. Admittedly, it’s nice to know we’ll be looked after and it does give me some comfort in those times we eat instant noodles for dinner because we can’t afford anything else … but at the same time, it feels like poor taste to talk about what we’ll get when someone dies before they are dead.
“Anyway, we wanted to ask you something,” Ollie says, after what seems like an eternity. Diana and I sit a little straighter. Tom is the only one who seems surprised that there is a purpose to our visit. For someone so successful, he really can be quite thick.
“We’ve found a house,” Ollie announces.
“And not a moment too soon!” Tom says eagerly. He, like the majority of Ollie’s friends, has been unsettled about the fact that we’re renting and likes the security of bricks and mortar for investment.
“It’s a two-bedroom worker’s cottage in South Melbourne,” Ollie continues. “It’s pretty run-down, but we could renovate it. We’ve got a good deposit, just short of twenty percent.” He hesitates here, steals a quick glance at his mother. “Problem is, without a twenty-percent deposit we’d need to pay mortgage insurance, which is just throwing money down the drain. We hate to ask but—”
“South Melbourne, eh?” Tom says. “A good spot. Close to the city. Near the market, near Albert Park Lake. It’s not easy for you young folk, is it? Everything is so expensive. I read the other day that a lot of kids are not buying their first home until they are in their forties, can you believe that? What do you think, Di?”
Tom is the only one I’ve ever heard call Diana “Di.” Once, I heard him call her Lady Di. The strangest part was, Diana had actually smiled. Tom brought out an entirely different side to her. A softer side. Unfortunately, now, Diana doesn’t look soft. Her lips are pressed tightly together as though she’s trying to break something with her teeth.
“Life has never been easy,” she says finally, folding her hands primly in her lap. “Every generation has its challenges and I dare say, most have had to suffer through worse than unaffordable housing. You and Lucy both have good heads on your shoulders. If you