like this together, silently, for what felt like hours.
On the one hand, no words needed to be exchanged. As always, when she was around Aiden, she felt like she already knew everything he was going to say.
Yet at the same time, she rarely knew precisely what he was thinking. What she wanted to know most of al was if he remembered everything. From the look in his eyes, she sensed that he did.
Aiden had a funny way of showing up at the strangest moments in her life. Every time she felt like she was at a crossroads, every time she felt unsure of what direction to take, he seemed to appear. And each time he led her back on the path, and she realized he was right—that she should not give up the search for the Shield, for her father, for her own identity. But once she got away from him, once other things happened, it became harder to see clearly. Just being around him helped her to focus.
Being around him also made her feel guilty. When she was around him, she wanted to be a better person, a better warrior; she wanted to train, to be the best she could be.
She thought of their unfinished training on Pol epel, and remembered how sharp her skil s were becoming. A part of her missed the training, and wanted to go back to it.
Seeing him made her think of her unfulfil ed ambition.
Caitlin felt such a mix of emotions as she walked with him.
Was he disapproving of her? Was he mad at her for not continuing her search? How much did he know already?
How had he found her?
In some ways, he felt like a father to her. And she was nervous to hear what it was he had to say.
Caitlin knew better than to initiate conversation. She just had to walk, to be with him in the silence. Aiden was always about being, not talking. About tuning in to what someone else was thinking and feeling it without needing to say it.
So she respected his way of being, and just walked with him. After what felt like hours, she almost felt as if she were walking alone. She was contemplating her future, wondering where to go from here, wondering if Caleb would return—wondering al these things, when suddenly, the silence was broken by the sound of Aiden’s voice:
“Does your arm hurt?” he asked.
Caitlin looked down and saw her bleeding arm, and remembered.
“Yes,” she admitted.
“Come here.”
He stopped, and she approached, and he lay his hands on the wound and closed his eyes.
When he removed them, she was shocked to find it completely healed.
Ruth whined, and Aiden reached down and with a smile, picked her up, and lay his hands on her injured paw. He then set her back down, and she walked perfectly, without a limp.
Caitlin was shocked.
Aiden sighed, turning to her.
“I had hoped to find you elsewhere,” Aiden said.
Caitlin thought about that. As usual, with Aiden, everything he said could be interpreted so many ways. It was so hard to know what he ever real y meant. Did that mean he had hoped that she wouldn’t be fighting? Or that she wouldn’t be with Caleb? Or that she would be searching for the Shield?
She assumed he meant the latter.
She thought about how to respond.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I couldn’t continue the search.”
He didn’t respond, and they continued in silence.
Final y, he said: “Maybe you’ve been searching al along.”
That, too, made her think. What did he mean, exactly? Did he mean that some part of her had never stopped the search? That she was searching inside her mind?
“Sometimes you search for an object,” he said, “and sometimes it searches for you.”
Again, she wasn’t quite sure what he meant. But it felt true to her, on some level. She had felt overwhelmed by the search, and even when she’d decided to stop searching, she had felt it was stil always there, in the back of her consciousness.
“It’s not that I don’t want to find it,” she said. “I do. And I want to help. I just…I also want to live a normal life. I was tired of running. And then… I found Caleb again.”
“And you thought it would work out forever,” Aiden said.
Caitlin turned and looked at him, searching his face for some sort of clue. Did he know what their future held?
But al she could see was his slowly shaking his head in disappointment.
She felt embarrassed, as if Aiden had known al