say another word.” Matt started turning in circles. “How much does therapy cost an hour? Can you recommend anyone?”
Her mouth opened and closed.
“You have just ruined any chances of me having sex ever again.”
Diana gave him a doubting look.
“At least for the next two days.” He closed his eyes and shivered.
“Really? Because this is my dream come true!”
“I gotta go,” he said, leaving her alone at the table with his package.
Ugh. His gift. She looked at it and started hiccupping.
Matt stalked back and snatched the box. “I’ll eat these myself.”
She stood up and reached for the box. “Wait! I could really use some chocolate right about now.”
He frowned. “They’re edible panties.”
She sat back down. “I could use those, too. I’m not wearing any.”
Matt dropped the box and screamed like he was ten years old again and went running out of the bar.
She dropped her head in her hands and a man approached her. “Usually, I buy women booze to get them out of their underwear, but looks like we’re a few steps ahead.”
She slid off the chair. “I’m going to be sick.”
The guy shrugged. “Come back when you’re done!”
She grabbed the gift and ran out the door.
A text beeped on her phone. From her mother. “Hope I’m not interrupting, but be sure to tell me how your blind date goes.”
***
After scanning the crowd and chatting up one woman dull as drywall, Toby went outside and strolled down the sidewalk. A woman was hustling past him, and she looked familiar. “Hey, slow down. You’re Dina, right?”
“Yes,” she slowed her pace, wincing.
“I met you the other night with my brother, Eric. From what I heard the next day, that didn’t go so well. How about the two of us get a drink?” He arched one eyebrow ever so slightly.
She placed her hand over her mouth and shook her head. “I can’t.” Then she took a few more steps and puked.
His industrial-sized ego was taking a beating here. “Can I get you a ride home?”
“I’ll grab a cab. Please, just leave me alone.” And she hobbled off into the dark.
And with that, he called it a night.
***
It’s not that he was desperate for a date, but after a week of searching for someone different and finding no one, it was time to call in the big guns: his sister, Kyla. He called her and invited her to lunch.
“Are you sick?” Kyla asked, sounding panicked over the phone. “Tell me you’re not sick.”
“No!”
“Something’s wrong. What is it? Just tell me. You spent your entire inheritance on something stupid didn’t you? What was it—a private jet? Your own island?”
He chuckled. “Eric’s the more likely candidate for that. No, Kyla, I just want your opinion on something.”
“Oh, good. I’m excellent at giving opinions. I’ll see you at noon.”
Kyla was waiting for him when he got there, his drink already ordered. “Thanks,” he said.
She reached across the table and patted his cheek. “You’re growing a beard?”
He straightened his silverware. “No, no. Not exactly. I just haven’t shaved in a few days…” He sighed. “I’m not here to talk about facial hair.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe we should.”
His eyes met her and his shoulders slumped. “Kyla, I’m having trouble meeting women.”
She raised an eyebrow. “This is a joke, right?”
He held up a hand. “Different women. Different from the uptight girlfriends I’ve had. The ones more concerned about their careers than our future.”
“What about Lorna?”
“She’s just interested in money. Her money and making more of it. She doesn’t care about me and my money.”
Kyla tapped her finger on her nose. “I see. You want me to help you meet women interested in your money? I can think of a few women—make that a few dozen women who’d be interested in your money.”
“No. You know what I mean. Interested in me, not just in having me as an accessory.”
“You want me to be your matchmaker?”
“You got Jessie to go to prom with Nick.”
“I gave her five good babysitting leads.”
Toby popped up an eyebrow.
“What? I was fourteen. I didn’t have a lot of money.”
“Well, do you know anyone who might be right for me?”
She set her hand on his. “You do realize the last guy I tried setting up with other women ended up dating me.”
He nodded. “Good point. And I never would have picked a nerdy astrophysicist as your dream guy.”
“The heart wants what it wants.”
“How is Stone?”
She closed her eyes and sighed. “Awesome. Perfect. Amazing. He calls me his heavenly astrological body—H.A.B. Hab. Habby, because we’re so habby together.”
Toby