my bedroom, I scowl. I’ve been playing “house” with Masey all evening. It’s dangerous. She’s not my woman. She’s a fling. A one-night stand. My stupid yearnings have made me consider that we could have more. But she’s been clear that she wants me for the experience I can show her. For the orgasms I can give her.
It’s not the first time I’ve been put in my place.
Why would I want to marry you? No offense, but you’re no one. And you really thought…? Sorry. But no.
Clutching my son, I grit my teeth. That happened four fucking awful years ago, and she was a horrible human being. I’m glad she turned me down so coldly…most days. But there are other days I wonder what would have happened if she’d been the woman I believed and she’d said yes.
You’re really great in bed. Stellar. Best ever, honestly. You should stick to what you’re good at, babe.
I slam the door on that memory. I won’t go down that mental path. In the past, it’s caused me to pick up a bottle of whiskey, drink until I black out, and suffer a colossal hangover the next day. I won’t give her that kind of power over me again.
Ranger plants his hands on either side of my face and blinks at me. He’s smart and he’s happy and he’s never known the cruelty of others. I’m going to do my damnedest to shield him from all that for as long as possible. I want him to know his worth and believe he can have anything he wants if he works hard enough for it. I hope life never crushes him.
And if it does, I hope he recovers far better than I did.
With a sigh, I kiss my son, rock him for a few minutes, focusing on his baby smell and the weight of him against my chest as his legs stop kicking and his body slowly relaxes.
Soon after that, he’s out. I know I’m not supposed to rock him to sleep, and I don’t very often. But it gives me a few minutes. I can’t get naked with Masey while all these memories are weighing on me like an albatross.
On the other hand, I owe her. And not just a little but a night of one dazzling orgasm after another. Not only has she helped me tremendously in the last twenty-four hours, but I want her to bounce back from Thom’s callous breakup, bigger and better than ever.
I want to give her the confidence and reassurance no one gave me after my heartbreak.
But I can’t do that until I clear my head. The easiest way is to remember that she merely wants my cock.
And she has no interest in my heart.
With a last kiss on Ranger’s head, I set him in his crib, cover him with a light blanket, kill the overhead light…and head down the hall to find Masey. Time to finish what I started.
Slowly, I approach the bedroom. Even though the memories rolling through my head are ugly and I’m only having a fling with Masey, I’m ridiculously eager to get naked with her. I want that woman so fucking bad—more than I’ve wanted anyone in years. Maybe ever.
After our meet and greet at the bar last night, I went to her place and murmured all the right encouraging words. If my mother hadn’t injured herself, I would have followed through on my promise to give her a confidence boost via multiple orgasms. I liked Masey then. And it would have sucked to fuck her a few times, then say sayonara, head home, and never see her again. As the weeks and months slid past, I would have thought about her occasionally. Fondly. Maybe even tenderly. But soon enough, she would have become another of the many. My “number” is too high to count, so I stopped trying. I probably would have forgotten Masey eventually.
Now? Something has shifted. I can’t merely focus on her body or giving her a good time. There’s a feeling brewing inside me—between us—that’s not strictly about the pleasure she asked for. It’s way more about her sweet, sassy, sexy personality. And that fucking mouth. It’s haunted me all day.
No, might as well not bullshit myself. She did.
At the bedroom, I stop in the doorway. She’s standing in the middle of the room awkwardly, like she’s not sure what to do, wearing my T-shirt and a pair of my athletic socks. I don’t see a shred of makeup