I move closer and wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly so he knows I don’t blame him for anything.
He hasn’t tossed me out or abandoned me. He’s done everything possible to explain things to me, to help me understand. And I guarantee he only pushed me away when I wanted to have sex so I wouldn’t resent him for it later.
Reule hugs me back, and I remind myself of everything I told myself when I woke up this morning. Things could be so much worse, and I’m strong enough to adapt. I can make the best of anything.
Chapter Nine
Maalik
Caelan rams his shoulder against mine as he storms past, but I don’t reprimand him for it. Not today.
We’ve been dismissed and given reprieve from our duties and responsibilities for the next week. Normally, I’d be ecstatic at the opportunity to spend this time with my brothers. We usually only get a few short days to spend together each month. But tonight is Guardians’ Night, and in just a few hours, the Beasts’ Full Moon will be shining down upon us. Already, I can feel Caelan and Audun withdrawing into themselves, and I know the four of us will probably isolate ourselves from one another through tonight and the next few days.
I watch my brothers walk ahead of me into the forest. Caelan shifts the moment we reach our usual clearing, but Audun glances back over his shoulder at me and raises his eyebrows in question.
“Go on ahead. I’ll see you both at home.” I wave my hand in dismissal, and he shifts a moment later. The two of them push up from the ground and take off into the air, and I keep my eyes trained on their beasts’ forms until they’re only a speck in the sky.
A melancholy sigh leaves my mouth, and I rub my hand over my aching chest as I glare up at the three full moons. They’re all visible now, since it’s such a clear day, and they’ll be much brighter in a few hours when the sun sets. The Beasts’ Full Moon only presents itself once every forty years, and this is my and my brothers’ third time experiencing it. It’s the only time we’re able to choose a wife, and to bond her to us. When darkness falls and my beast takes control of my thoughts and actions, I know I’m going to feel as though my soul is shattering and my heart is breaking.
The same thing has happened the past two Guardians’ Nights we had this damned Beasts’ Moon hanging over us. I have a feeling it will be even worse this time. The more time that passes without a wife, without a soulmate, the emptier and more feral I feel.
Caelan likes to blame me whenever he’s in a surly mood, and whenever his loneliness starts to become too much to bear. But for years, the four of us have always been in agreement. The cons outweigh the pros when it comes to claiming a wife.
I sigh again and shift into my beast. As the leader of our family, I need to stay strong for my brothers’ sake. I hope Reule is doing alright at home. He always takes my side in matters of importance, but he’s much better at cheering our brothers up than I am.
Even though they had a head-start, I catch up to Audun and Caelan within minutes. Audun nips at my heels playfully, and I swat a paw at him in response. Caelan is entirely unamused. He growls at us and flies ahead so he doesn’t need to be near us. My heart clenches, knowing he’s in pain, and being unable to help.
The moment we reach home, I can tell something’s amiss. I stand in the yard and sniff around anxiously, and Caelan and Audun peer up at me curiously in their human forms.
“What’s the matter?” Audun asks, holding his hand up to keep the sun out of his eyes.
My beast’s eyes catch on a glimmer in the snow, and I shift back and walk over to investigate. I pick up a piece of jagged metal and hold it up for my brothers to see.
“I’m not sure.” I grunt. “But I have a weird feeling. One of you go and grab Reule while I have a look around.”
As soon as I say his name, Reule steps outside and walks toward us. He looks anxious and keeps tugging at his hair, and my body tenses as I go