got so much to work on myself.”
“We all do. No one is perfect.”
“What was it you wanted to say?”
“Once in a while, Madison, you’ve got to let someone else take the reins. You don’t always have to be in control. The world won’t fall apart if you let go a little.”
“More of Mr. Clean’s wisdom?”
“No, this one is all Sanpreet.” She giggled, her voice lightened by salted caramel whiskey.
“So, Sanpreet,” Madison said, dusting the sand from her hands. She wasn’t one for pity parties and this was tuning up to be one. “How did you come to realize you were in a cult?”
“It was pretty abrupt, really, but when I look back on it, I can see the red flags now. Red flags I ignored and blew right past because I was so desperate for love.”
“Desperate is not a pretty color.”
“Nope.”
“Been there, but where you ran to people, I ran away from them. I put up walls, built barriers. Finn complained that I would never let him in.”
“At least you had boundaries. I was an open door.” Shelley made come-on-in motions with her arms. “I accepted anyone and everyone who walked over the threshold.”
“We’re polar opposites.”
“Always have been,” Shelley said.
“But hey, don’t opposites attract?” Madison rested her head on Shelley’s shoulder.
Shelley stroked her head. It felt so good. “How big a swig did you take of that salted caramel?”
“Not big enough.”
“You know,” Shelley said. “I’ve never seen you drunk.”
“That control thing. Can’t stand the thought of losing it. But we’re talking about you. What were the red flags you ignored?”
“For one thing, I thought the way he isolated us was a good thing. At Cobalt Soul there were no TVs, no internet, no cell phones, no animal products, no alcohol, no arguing or dissenting allowed, and oh yes, no sex.”
“No sex? You gotta be kidding.”
“We were purifying ourselves.”
“He’s a dude, though. He was having sex with someone.”
“Not me.”
“And you haven’t done it in five years?”
“No. Making up for all the years I overdid it when I was younger, I guess.”
“I get the feeling that Mr. Clean has an instinct for what people need and he caters to it to control them. You needed to feel safe and loved, so he kept sex off the table for you.”
“Maybe. There was a shit-ton of magical unicorn thinking going on,” Shelley said.
“Such as?”
“Got a headache?” Shelley grew animated as if she were narrating a TV commercial. “Buddha forbid that you take aspirin. Try chewing organic, all-natural feverfew leaves. Give it a few days and voilà, headache gone.”
“You sound like the old Shelley now.” Madison applauded. “Snarkalicious.”
Shelley was just getting warmed up. “Or if that doesn’t do the trick, then your sixth chakra must be blocked. Swing a crystal pendulum counterclockwise over your forehead and it’ll fix you right up.”
“Seriously?”
“Got anxiety? Flush those benzos and release the issues from your tissues with primal screaming and an ice-cold shower first thing in the morning. It will shock your system and make room for calm.”
Madison startled. Did Shelley know she had a Xanax prescription? Was that a dig at her?
But no, Shelley rolled right along without a manipulative bone in her body. Madison had long admired her guilelessness.
“Got doubts?” Shelley’s voice lowered as she pretended to sound like a man. “That’s just your inner resistance. Your ego wants to hold you back. Numb that pesky thang with a five-day juice fast, and ten hours of kneeling meditation.”
“Then again . . .” Madison opened her purse. “There’s always salted caramel Crown Royal.”
They each took a third swig of the whiskey, both getting giggly and loose.
“Or here . . . Let’s scribble cray-cray hieroglyphics into your palms and make you an open channel for chi to flood your soul.” Shelley demonstrated by taking Madison’s hand and tracing squiggly symbols over her skin.
“That tickles.” Madison hiccuped. Laughed.
“See!” Shelley pointed a finger. “There’s your chi!”
“A miracle. I feel chi-ed all over.”
“Oh, and don’t forget to tithe eleven percent of your income to Cobalt Soul to ensure more feel-good karma.”
“Gosh, Shell, you were in a weird place.”
“Tell me about it. Still, I couldn’t see the weirdness.” Shelley frowned. “No, that’s not true. I saw and embraced it anyway.”
“Let’s give credit where credit is due.” Madison hiccuped again. “You are more open-minded and less reactionary.” She paused, lowered her voice, and in a loud whisper said, “Maybe I should go to Cobalt Soul.”
“No! You are fine just the way you are.”
“So are you.” Madison’s words slurred slightly. She could count on the