caves.”
“I went for it as soon as I heard we had lost the disputed land to their clan.” Verica sighed. “I did not tell Circin. He nearly got himself killed challenging the Sinclair for rights to the caves.”
“Nay. Talorc would never have killed an untrained boy.” Barr stood there, the door open behind him, an unreadable expression on his face. “I willna bother to ask what that is.” He indicated the bundle on the bed. “You wouldna tell me; after all, I’m Faol.” He said the word with all the revulsion Sabrine had ever shown for it.
He turned and walked out without another word.
Her heart aching, Sabrine stared after him. She wanted to chase him down and demand he listen to her explanations, but she did not know what they should or even could be.
“He doesn’t know why you’re here,” Verica said with certainty.
“No.”
“Go after him.”
And do what? Beg for mercy when she had so clearly deceived and used him? He was a warrior, like her, not a spiritual leader. Forgiveness was not his first reaction to betrayal.
She would not have thought walking away was, either. He had not yelled at her, or accused her of it, or well . . . anything. He’d simply left and that hurt more than she’d thought it possibly could.
If there had ever been a chance he would love her, it had been destroyed. And looking back over her actions of the past sennights, she did not know what she could have done differently.
Her heart cried out for her to change the situation even now, but her warrior’s mind, taught that betrayal was met with death, said there was no hope.
She said all that she could think to say. “Maybe this is for the best.”
Leaving Barr angry with her should make the prospect less painful.
It didn’t, but it would no doubt make it easier for him to let her go.
And as a warrior for her people, her chances of living out her years to old age were slim. He would not be without a mate forever.
Accepting the inevitability of her own death had been taught since the beginning of her training as a protector of her people. An Éan who accepted that dying for her people was a great honor and most likely inevitable did not hesitate to put her life at risk for those who relied on her for their safety.
Thoughts of that future had never hurt as much as they did in this moment.
“Don’t be stupid.” Verica was unimpressed without doubt. “My mother did not have time to teach me everything about the Éan, but she told me that a Chrechte’s true mate is the most important gift our natures will ever impart to us. You cannot simply dismiss your responsibilities to Barr because they do not easily coincide with those you have toward the Éan of the forest.”
The healer’s intuitive wisdom was staggering, but Sabrine could not give in to the allure of the words. “Not all Chrechte even find their true mate.”
“Those that do should be even more grateful then, shouldn’t we?”
“Earc is your life’s mate then?”
“Aye, and do not think you are going to change the topic.”
“What do you want me to say?” Sabrine sat hard on the bed, causing the Clach Gealach Gra to bounce.
“I do not want you to say a thing to me. It’s Barr you need to talk to.”
“Nothing I can say will make our reality any easier to accept.”
“What reality? That you love each other?”
“We don’t.” He didn’t love her, at any course, and she should be glad.
Why her heart insisted on bleeding, she did not know.
“What is going on here?” Verica asked, her tone truly perplexed.
“What do you mean? I came to find the Clach Gealach Gra. I have found it; now I must let the others know and return it to the Éan chamber in the caves at the sacred springs.”
“So, get Barr to return it with you.”
“I cannot tell him about our people.”
“He is your sacred mate, you have to tell him.”
“I will not betray my people.”
“So, what? You plan to betray your mate? You’re leaving and not coming back—that’s why you’re so upset and Barr is so angry, isn’t it? He knows.”
“He’s always known. I have not lied to him.” Deceived him, yes, but never actually lied.
“And he’s hurt.”
“Yes.”
“So, don’t leave.”
“I have no choice.”
Once again, Verica looked far from impressed. “Of course you have a choice. If you were dead, then you would not have a choice. As long as