reply quietly. “Is she…?”
“She’ll be fine,” Lauren said. “Just needs a minute. Allergies.” For the first time, Carly was overwhelmingly grateful for Lauren’s professionalism and owed her big-time for running cover. “Carly, why don’t you take fifteen, and then we’ll regroup.”
“I’ll be back in under ten,” she said, trying to keep her voice from cracking. This wasn’t like her, but the pressures, the insecurities, the fear that she was continually letting everyone down weighed on her like a two-ton brick upon her chest. This whole process was so much harder than she’d anticipated. She was a good actress, but this required a level of depth and commitment that had her on her heels.
She stared at her red-rimmed eyes in the bathroom mirror moments later, as she splashed some water onto her face. The cold helped zap her out of her paralysis and self-pity. She had to be honest with herself. She’d been horrible since she’d arrived, and it was no wonder veterans of the stage like Evelyn had taken offense. This was her crossroads moment, however, and it was Lauren’s voice she heard in her head. You have to make changes to your approach to life, to your work. The sentence repeated over and over, and each time she heard it, it resonated more powerfully.
She somehow made it through the remaining hours of rehearsal, even cradling Evelyn’s face in her hands and looking into her eyes as if she was the most precious person in the world. She’d survived. Ethan had given her a shoulder pat on his way out at the end of the day, which hopefully meant she’d been forgiven. Evelyn had breezed the hell out of the room, apparently standing by her earlier assertion. As for Carly, she lingered, taking her time changing her shoes, packing up her belongings.
After a few minutes, it was down to just her, Trip, and Lauren in the room.
“You got this?” Trip asked Lauren. “I promised Wilks I’d back up the house manager for tonight’s performance. He’s a fill-in tonight and not entirely sure of our procedures.”
“I got it,” Lauren said. “Go play house manager.” They then engaged in some kind of secret handshake that made her smile to herself.
Once they were alone, she dropped her bag and approached Lauren. “I can help.” She didn’t wait for an answer but instead went about assisting Lauren as she reset the rehearsal furniture for the scene they were scheduled to start with the next day.
“This is unexpected,” Lauren said, tossing her a glance. “I don’t generally have my lead actors schlepping the furniture. You okay? Feeling any better?” She said it with kindness, and it meant the world to Carly.
She felt the uncomfortable lump rise in her throat again. Something about Lauren checking in on her made her crumple, like when her mom used to pick her up from school after she’d had a bad day. She’d just blurt it all out in one giant release. Her safe place. “I’ve had better days.”
Lauren straightened, abandoning a chair midtransit. “Did Evelyn say something to you earlier? You can tell me, you know.” The soft green eyes made her believe it.
Carly exhaled slowly, and it all came gushing out. “Only that I was out of my league, spoiled. She called me a little girl and told me to go back to Hollywood.”
Lauren’s head dropped. When she raised it again, her features carried compassion. “I’m sorry she said those things to you.”
“But you agree with her. You said so earlier. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I’m doing here. I’m a joke.”
“Don’t say that. You’re keeping this production afloat. That’s what you’re doing here.” She picked up the chair again and went on her way.
Carly laughed beneath the dark cloud still looming. “Yeah, you and I both know that’s not true. I’m trying to pass as someone who knows what she’s doing.”
“You’re a good actress,” Lauren said plainly. “You bring a lot of bullshit with you, and people put up with it, for that one reason. You’re amazing at what you do.”
A tiny breeze could have blown Carly right over. “Wow. Thank you.”
“And after our trouble today, it means a lot that I’m complimenting you. It means that what I’m saying is true. So you have to ignore Evelyn, because the play is blossoming with the work you and Ethan are doing. She’s been the problem, the one not committing to character.”
Carly was mystified. It was so rare to get to hear Lauren’s actual take on things.