thing about breaking up fights between a giant spider and a phoenix.
“Okay, let’s try to work this out. Pavlina, did you go after his girlfriend when you knew she was with him?”
“The truth? I didn’t sleep with your girl, Demos. I don’t play in other people’s toy chests. She approached me at a pub and told me she was single. She invited me back to your place, and I saw someone was leaving. She said he was just a friend. We started making out, and things got heated. My webs come out when I’m excited. One of my webs hit the dresser, and a photo that had been set face down fell on the floor. I saw the two of you hugging in the picture.
“I jumped out of bed and opened the dresser drawer. I saw men’s clothes there and realized I was some booty call, and she was cheating on you with me. I got the hell out of there. I never fucked your girl, Demos. When you found my webs and tried to fight me, I told you I did hoping you’d get the fuck out of that relationship because she was just going to do it again, and I wasn’t the first.
“The only reason I kept taunting you about it is that you’re an arrogant fuck who needs to be knocked down a few pegs. That’s the truth, Demos.”
“You could have just told me the truth instead of being such a bitch about it for so long.”
“You’re an asshole to everyone, Demos. You deserved what you got.”
“You swear you didn’t fuck her in my bed?”
“I didn’t, but other people did.”
“Then I’m sorry for coming at you. I guess you did me a favor in the end.”
Kimon let out a little snort.
“Does that mean you will be nicer to the rest of us too? Because no one here had carnal relations with any of your women. You should be nicer to my baby bird.”
“A phoenix is not meant to be caged like this. I’m not meant to molt and be reborn in darkness. It’s meant to happen in the open air and under the sun. In this cage and the dank darkness, it’s worse than dying every time I rise from the ashes. You’re the only people here, so I take it out on you.”
Maybe I had a solution if I could get it in the Underworld.
“Is there UV light here like tanning beds? If I could get one in your cell, maybe it would make being reborn less painful.”
“What the fuck is a tanning bed, half breed?”
“Watch it, Demos,” Kimon growled.
“My tentacle can reach in there and snap your neck in an instant.”
“My name is River, Demos. I don’t mind Kimon and Tryphon’s pet names, but I don’t like being called a half breed. It might be what I am, but I don’t like how you say it.”
“Fine. I’ll call you by your given name, but I’m not giving you any cutesy name because Demeter is just going to kill you when she finds you here. All of you are stupid for getting attached.”
I guess I could deal with that for now. And I already had a solution. I was about to turn a God into my errand boy. He deserved it anyway for how he kidnapped me.
“Hades can get a tanning bed from where he fetched me. He owes me that much. What about you, Tryphon? What can I get you?”
“Swim naked in my pool with me, pet.”
“Let’s build up to that, okay? We only just met. Now that Pavlina and Demos have decided not to murder each other, could I turn one of these cells near Tryphon’s pool so we could all hang out and talk without bars between us?”
“Can we snuggle, baby bird?”
What was with all these horny monsters? Even the spider was hitting on me. I didn’t get a chance to answer. Tryphon’s tentacles tightened around me when two enormous men dressed in armor came in.
“It’s time, Kimon.”
I knew he had a fight coming up. This felt wrong. It felt like I should do something. I should stop this, but how? Just one of those men looked like they could kill me and not break a sweat.
I tried to stand, and Tryphon yanked me back into my chair. They unlocked Kimon’s door, and they were so rough with him as they yanked him out. He didn’t turn around, but he spoke to me.
“Stand down, baby bird. I always win.”
Until the day he didn’t.