the way, I’m responsible for all the shit your family is going through. Now must be a good time to put my dick in your mouth.’”
“No need to be crass.”
“Look, I’m sorry it happened this way. I don’t apologize often—correction, I don’t apologize at all—so I suggest you take it, run with it, and accept it. I came here today with a proposition I think you would very much like.”
She pursed her full lips in dissatisfaction, and again I hated myself for taking her for granted all these years. Even when I didn’t touch her, I knew she was there, waiting for me, fantasizing about me. It was almost as good as having her. Knowing that I could.
Now, she looked like she wanted to finish the job the Bratva started that night she ran away from the cabin.
“A proposition?” she asked.
“I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level.”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to spell it out for me, seeing as with you it could also mean anal sex.”
I chuckled. “I’m willing to have you.”
“You’re willing to have me,” she repeated flatly.
“Yes. As whatever-the-fuck. Girlfriend? Partner? What’s the correct term for people who are over twenty-five?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’m not your anything, Brennan. You had your chance. You blew it. Ten whole years I waited for you to make me yours. All you needed to do was give me the time of the day. I’ve wanted you for so long, I don’t even remember what it feels like not to want you. Well, I’m about to find out.”
She didn’t want me.
I had never taken a scenario like this into consideration.
Nix’s love was always in the background for me. Available and ready whenever I was.
Now, I’d fucked up and needed to deal with the consequences.
“I’m not the type of guy to take no for an answer,” I warned, meaning it.
“I’m not the type of girl to give a dang about what kind of guy you are. You want me, you’ll have to win me.”
Feeling my jaw ticking with annoyance, I took a deep breath.
“That should be easy. I only win.”
“You’ll have to chase me,” she corrected.
“I don’t chase,” I reminded her quietly.
“Well, then I guess you won’t have me. Work for it. Treat me as your equal. No. Know what? Treat me as your better. Because I am. I know you hate women. I know you are leery of them, but unfortunately for you, I am one. I will not accept anything short of a fairy tale, Brennan, even if it’s with the monster in the story.”
Dumbfounded, I stared at her, waiting for … what exactly? Her to change her mind? She wasn’t going to. She wanted a fucking fairy tale, and so far I gave her a nightmare with a side of betrayal.
“Now leave,” she said primly.
“Nix—”
She slammed her window in my face, drawing the curtains shut for good measure.
She kicked me out.
Made new rules for our game.
Now I needed to play by them or admit defeat.
The first thing I did when I got back to my apartment was fling the pantry door open, nearly sending it off its hinges. There wasn’t much food there. And by ‘much’ I meant at all. There wasn’t any food there period. Only packs upon packs of Marlboros imported from Europe, because American cigarettes tasted like farts on fire.
I stared at the piles upon piles of what Aisling had referred to as cancer sticks, wondering if I was really about to do what I was about to do.
I was.
Fuck it. I took six bullets in my lifetime. I could do this.
I grabbed all the packs and shoved them into four recycling bags, including the pack that was in my pocket, and tossed everything into the building’s dumpster.
Then I went back upstairs and stared at the empty ashtray on my coffee table.
Proving to Aisling that I took her seriously just might turn into my idea of a nightmare.
And so help me God, she better come around fucking quickly or heads were going to roll on the streets of Boston.
My phone started ringing in my skirt’s pocket while I hugged Mrs. Martinez goodbye at the clinic door. Tugging it out, I was surprised to see Sam’s name flashing on the screen. I had saved his number that time he came in with his injured soldiers just in case but never expected him to call me. I drew a firm line between optimism and stupidity, and that seemed like the threshold for it.
What