Yet with her smiling up at him under a starlit sky, her unruly mass of copper-colored corkscrews waving in the breeze, he didn’t want to list them. He wanted to enjoy the moment. And it scared him. Should he enjoy a peaceful, almost intimate moment with another woman? Or would his actions betray Rachel?
He hung his head. “I don’t know.” Lori couldn’t possibly realize he’d answered his inner questions rather than her spoken one.
“Look, the whole church knows that Cullen’s a handful.” She released a light laugh. The breeze tossed her curls across her cheek, and one strand caught in her shiny lip gloss. She tugged it loose and pushed it behind her ear. “He always has been, so don’t feel bad if he gives you a hard time.”
Jase watched her hair lift and bounce in the breeze. “You seemed to get along with him pretty well tonight. With all the kids, really. Have you worked with the youth before?”
She shook her head. The stubborn strand came loose and blew across her cheek again. She grimaced and tucked it aside. “Nope. I’ve fed ’em but never really hung out with ’em.” She sighed, a contented-cat look on her face. “It was kind of fun. Surprised me a little.” She eased a few inches closer, tipping her head slightly and keeping her eyes locked on his. “You surprised me, too.”
He forced a laugh. “Oh, yeah? How?”
“By asking me to help tonight. I mean, Sister Kraft and Brother Kraft were right here. They could’ve done it.”
Given Brother Kraft’s recent health situation, Jase wouldn’t ask him. But he couldn’t tell Lori without breaking a confidence. “Well, Sister Kraft did quite a bit. She cut a bunch of flowers, gave us the cards we put in the baskets, and provided most of the food and the wood for the fire.”
Lori’s frame shivered. “Speaking of fires, it’s a lot colder than I realized now that the fire is out. Could we maybe go inside the church to talk? Or someplace else? Your apartment, maybe?”
He’d invited Lori and Kenzie to his apartment for Chinese takeout earlier in the week and he hadn’t thought anything of it. But Lori by herself? It’d send another message, and if he wasn’t willing to follow the presumptions with reality, he shouldn’t lead her on. Turning her down would probably hurt her feelings, but telling her yes could get her hopes up for something more than friendship. What was best? They couldn’t stand out here in the cool breeze indefinitely. Somebody needed to make a decision.
She sighed. “It is kinda late, and tomorrow’s my Saturday at the shop. We had a really full house today so it’ll need quite a bit of sweeping and straightening, I’m sure. I guess I should go ahead and—”
Jase reached for her but didn’t touch her. “Lori, it isn’t you.”
Her eyebrows came together.
“You’re an amazing woman. I like you.” His hand hung in the space between them like a broken bridge. “I like you a lot.”
Her cheeks glowed bold pink. She ducked her head. “I like you, too.”
“But there are so many things I don’t— I’m still so new here, and— I don’t want to let you down.”
Her face lifted, and she gave him the sweetest smile. “That was a very ferhoodled speech.”
He frowned. “A what speech?”
“Ferhoodled. It’s a Kenzie word. It means kind of mixed up.”
An accurate description, then. For his speech. For his life.
She shook her head, sending her wind-tossed curls aside, and grinned. “Look, I don’t expect anything more than friendship from you.”
Her words were confident, even a little smug, but something in her eyes made him wonder if she was being honest with him and with herself. He started to lower his hand, but she caught hold of it between both of hers.
“I realize you’ve only been here a short time. I realize you still miss Rachel. I won’t push myself on you. But when you need help with the youth again, gimme a holler. If you wanna go grab a bite to eat after church on Sundays or some evening, I’m game. And if you just wanna pray for me from afar, that’s worth a lot. No need to get all ferhoodled. Okay?”
Ferhoodled. What a fun word. It made a serious topic feel not so heavy. “Lori, I—” His cell phone vibrated in his jacket pocket, and he jumped.
She squeezed his hand, then let go. “You take that. I’m gonna head on home. See you Sunday, Brother Jase.”
There